Dealers' Choice by Susan Hayes
Author:Susan Hayes
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Black Scroll Publications Ltd.
Chapter Nine
Not even an hour of high-g cardio and working out with the sparring bot did much to improve his mood. Sometimes, Ward mused as he stood under the hot spray of the gymâs shower, being a cyborg sucked vacuum.
Or maybe it was just being him. His entire life had been a struggle. From the time heâd stepped out of his maturation tank, heâd been fighting one battle or another. First against his fellow cyborgs, then against the conditioning that was supposed to prevent him from ever having free will. After that, it was the rebellion against the corporations, followed by aimless wandering, and then fighting for a place where he and Vic would be accepted.
He scrubbed the cleanser over his skin, trying to wash away the memory of what happened next. The years theyâd been trapped under Arielâs control. Sheâd treated them like interchangeable toys. This and that, sheâd call them. Or one and two. Sheâd never tried to tell them apart. They were objects, not beings, and the orders sheâd given them were as arbitrary and cold as she was. Kill this one. Fuck that one. He didnât remember all of it. Chunks of his life had been deleted with every reset, which was both a blessing and a curse.
But this time, theyâd believed they had finally found something real. Something good. Even knowing his time with Xori couldnât last, he was sure she was the one good thing he could give to Vic to make up for his mistakes. Like the time heâd walked away and left his brother to bleed out.
He turned off the water and stalked back to his locker, drying himself off and pulling on his clothes, his mind still churning, counting all his failures over and over. Xori was the one he kept circling back to. Why had she left them? Sheâd snuck out while they were sleeping like she was somehow ashamed to face them again. He slammed a fist into the locker, caving the metal in several inches.
He dropped his hand, exhaling sharply. Fraxx. He needed to calm down, or he was going to do worse than beat up the décor.
As much as it stung him to do it, he made himself go through one of the calming exercises Xori had taught him. He didnât want to even think about her right now, but he could hear her soft voice in his head, giving him instructions as he cleared his mind and took the long, slow breaths that somehow helped him find his center again.
When he opened his eyes again, he wasnât alone. Denz was leaning against the far wall, keeping a respectful distance but clearly waiting for him. There was no other reason a sane being would hang around breathing in the steam and gym-funk that the stationâs aging air filtration system couldnât begin to keep up with.
âYou okay?â The big male asked.
âBetter than I was a few minutes ago,â he jerked his head to indicate the new dent in his locker.
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