Dave Barry Talks Back by Dave Barry

Author:Dave Barry [Barry, Dave]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-307-75872-9
Publisher: Crown Publishing Group
Published: 2010-12-28T16:00:00+00:00

Nevertheless, the WASP look has been very good to Ralph Lauren. So has another clothing line of his that I would describe as “Pretend Cowboy,” which is advertised via photographs of rugged male models, wearing designer cowboy outfits and authentic Wild West male fragrances, fixin’ to ride their tastefully color-coordinated horses down to the Old Tradin’ Post to purchase a heap o’ stylin’ gel.

So anyway, I was looking at the Lauren Exhibit, and I came across this T-shirt. It was a regular white T-shirt such as you might use to mow the lawn in or mop up spilled Yoo-Hoo with, except for two things:

1. On the front, in large letters, it had the words RALPH LAUREN STATE FAIR SEPT. 26–OCT. 1 and a large picture of a cowboy on a horse that was bucking wildly (perhaps because the cowboy was wearing too much male fragrance).

2. The price was $57.50.

Yup. Fifty-seven dollars and fifty cents. I once bought an entire suit for less than that. I admit that it was not an elegant suit. It was made from what appeared to be the same material they use to cover mattresses. I think it actually had a tag on the lapel that could not be removed under Penalty of Law. I was afraid to wear this suit late at night for fear that tired people would try to lie down on me. (Rim shot.) But at least it was a whole suit, for less than Ralph charges for a T-shirt.

Not that I mean to be critical. Hey, people are buying these things, just as they are paying top dollar for jeans that appear to have been ripped to shreds by crazed wolverines. You know why? Because garments like these make a statement. You wear a Lauren State Fair T-shirt, and you are telling the world: “I paid $57.50 for this T-shirt. God alone knows what I would pay for an official Ralph Lauren jockstrap.”

So I am all in favor of the designer T-shirt concept, and I am only sorry that the Lauren Exhibit didn’t feature any men’s briefs for $38.95 per leg hole, or whatever Ralph would charge. I wound up having to go elsewhere and purchase another famous designer underwear brand. A French one. Le Mart du K.

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