Dark Chapter by Winnie M. Li

Author:Winnie M. Li [Li, Winnie M.]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3, mobi
ISBN: 9781785079054
Publisher: Legend Press
Published: 2017-05-31T18:30:00+00:00

PART

THREE

I know what you’re gonna say. That I was bound to do something like that sometime. You don’t know when – what day or what bitch or what you do to her. But sometime, one of these times, it’ll come and get you. And you’ll regret it.

Do I regret it? Regret’s one of them words they’re always trying to hammer into you from the outside. Another trick to make you feel bad about yourself, because you’re a tinker and you’re dirt. Only, regret don’t mean nothing to me.

They ask all the time, ‘Do you regret what you did to that woman?’ How about all them other girls? And all them purses and phones I grabbed, am I supposed to feel bad about them too? Am I supposed to feel bad about my whole life? And why should I, just cause they don’t understand what my life is about and don’t really care neither. Not till your life interferes with one of theirs.

But if I hadn’t messed with her, if she hadn’t said nothing to the peelers, I’d be just fine. Cruising along, just this pavee in the shadows, and no one paying no attention to me.

So yeah, thinking back, should I have picked some other beour? Yeah. Someone younger. Someone who didn’t blab. Other boys never get caught, still wandering free as they please. But me? One bad choice, Johnny, and your life is fucked.

Unless it was always fucked from the beginning. So let’s just pretend this pavee boy’s not really there, hey.

Truth is, I’m not there. Not until some beour decides to moan about something I done. Then they think I’m something to be fixed. But I was there all along. They just didn’t see me.

*

She’s used to it by now, the look on peoples’ faces when she tells them what happened. She’s used to telling it the right way, the safe way. Because the truth is, they don’t really want to know all the different positions he made her use. And that’s maybe a little too private for her to reveal.

But even the censored version makes them flinch. There’s no point, in them knowing every single gory detail.

That knowledge is for you alone. And the police. And your therapist.

But friends… in some weird way, they need to be protected. Otherwise, it might freak them out too much, shatter their safe middle-class lives.

The truth for you is different. Everything has changed.

So she gives them the safe version of what happened. When some friends ask for more details, she’ll answer dutifully. Others say, “I’m sure you don’t want to talk about it,” as if that’s their excuse for not asking questions.

But how could she not want to talk about it? How could she possibly ignore the enormity of what happened to her on that Saturday afternoon?

To do that would be lying on a colossal scale.

And that’s a kind of deception she can’t pull off.

*

“Johnny, let’s take it step by step. Tell me where you were on Saturday, what you were doing.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.