Dads Are the Original Hipsters by Brad Getty

Author:Brad Getty [Getty, Brad]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781452114033
Publisher: Chronicle Books LLC
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Portable Music Players

Your dad had a portable music player before you did and he’s got the sore arms to prove it. With two five-inch speakers and four D batteries, he was a street DJ that shoulder-rocked blocks with his tape-deck picks.

SO HIPSTERS, when you’re filling your iPod with indie tunes and making playlists for your morning subterranean commutes, remember this…

Your dad literally had to carry his music everywhere he went.

Read Everything

Your dad read everything before you did and he has the collection of first editions to prove it. This flannel-clad Kerouac consumed language with a ferocity only rivaled by Merriam-Webster. The written word was an obsession and his free hours were spent getting copiously intoxicated off the eloquent arrangements of literary demigods.

SO HIPSTERS, next time you’re quoting a Faulkner passage from your perfectly curated library, remember this…

Your dad read it first and he summoned that poetically penned prose to wobble women’s knees.

P.S. How can you hipsters call yourself intellectuals when your actions help breed the biggest bastard children known to the English language, textspeak and emoticons? You pricks.

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