Coming of Age, Liver Spots & All by Don Marsh

Author:Don Marsh
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Walrus Publishing
Published: 2018-03-11T16:00:00+00:00

19: Dressing

If it weren’t for the gray hair, the wrinkles, and the varicose veins, the one feature that sets us older humans apart is often the way we dress. It’s called “mix and mismatch.” Nothing like a plaid shirt with patterned Bermuda shorts. Nothing like sheer, black, over the calf socks with those same shorts. Throw on a pair of laced-up black shoes and one is ready for the beach or the park. It has become a favored look, among others. No wonder the grandkids tag along either way in front of us, or so far behind, we think we’ve lost them. If they even agree to come along with us. And forget about asking them if they want to bring a friend along.

You would think that a lifetime of getting dressed every day would actually make us better dressers. For some inexplicable reason, it has not. The only excuse for some of the clothes (perhaps costumes is a better word), we venture into public wearing is due to severe vision impairment, up to, and including blindness. Our significant others might be expected, even counted on, to correct the sartorial mistake. Unless, that is, they quite possibly have a similar problem. The fact remains, however, that how we dress can easily generate gales of laughter from strangers and loved ones alike. Or maybe it generates waves of pity from those who fear dementia has begun to set in.

For some reason, the famous photograph of Richard Nixon walking on a beach dressed in a three piece suit and dress shoes as the surf splashed a few feet away comes to mind. Nixon was not yet in advanced years, but he was probably around sixty. The photo was taken to show that the president was just like everyone else. Except, of course, for those who prefer to walk along the surf line in shorts or a bathing suit. Or barefoot.

Perhaps he was, please pardon the expression, in something like a “dress rehearsal” for the forthcoming dotage. Lord knows he had plenty of people who might have told him that it was not the best possible photo op. Given the former president’s tendency to not always listen to best advice, one can imagine him saying something like, “Others may hate you. But those who hate you don’t win, unless you hate them. And then, you destroy yourself.”

Oh, wait a minute, he did say that. It was August 9, 1974 as he was flying off to California in disgrace, and also in what appeared to be the same suit he’d worn for his walk on the beach.

Again, I’ve gone off on a tangent.

I’m guessing here, but I suspect one of the reasons old folks don’t worry about what they wear is just that. They don’t worry about it. They are not trying to impress anyone. It’s not like they’re going to a singles bar to pick up a hot chick. We’re more likely to be going to the local Walgreens to pick up some milk of magnesia.

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