Ciao, America! by Beppe Severgnini

Author:Beppe Severgnini
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780767912372
Publisher: Crown
Published: 2002-06-18T00:00:00+00:00

ON THE SUBJECT of spelling. In one of my earlier books, I mentioned how in Great Britain, any Italian name more complicated than Rossi is liable to be distorted continuously. To prove my point, I listed twenty-six ways in which my surname had been misspelled. It was naïve of me. I didn’t know at the time that I would be coming to the United States, where in six months they have reduced “Severgnini” to shreds.

Of course, since this is America, some people have tried to find explanations for my difficulties (apart from other people’s obstinacy). According to AT&T Bell Laboratories, s is the most difficult sound to distinguish on the telephone because it involves high frequencies of between three and six thousand hertz while the telephone eliminates any distinction at more than four thousand. Other problem sounds are n, p, and b. As you will realize, I’m in trouble.

So, let’s take a look at my spelling collection. Some combinations are masterpieces of anagrammatical imagination. I offer them for the reader’s amusement, together with the name of the perpetrator (or artist, if you prefer).

We could begin with a few of the less culpable variations:

Mr. SEVIRGININI

(The Freedom Forum, Washington)

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