Chain of Chance by Stanislaw Lem

Author:Stanislaw Lem
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Science Fiction
Published: 2011-11-07T18:41:25+00:00

"Afraid?"

"At least twice. And each time it gave me something of a thrill."

The words did not come easily, for I was dealing in intangibles. He never took his eyes off me. "Did you enjoy being afraid?"

"I can't give you a yes or no answer. It's best when a person's abilities coincide with his ambitions. My ambitions have always tended toward the impossible. There's an infinite variety of risks, but I personally have never been attracted by such ordinary risks as, say, Russian roulette. That sort of test strikes me as jejune. On the other hand, I've always had a great attraction for the unknown, the unpredictable, the undefinable."

"Is that why you decided to become an astronaut?"

"I don't know. Maybe that's the reason. People think of us as clever chimpanzees guided by a remote-control computer. The highest order, the symbol of our civilization, whose opposite pole you see before you." I pointed to the paper featuring a front-page photo of the escalator. "I don't believe that's necessarily true. And even if it were true, we'd have been all alone on Mars, completely on our own. I knew all along my physical disability would hang over me like the blooming season, I'm totally worthless. Still, I was counting on the fact that since no vegetation grew on Mars, which everybody, including my superiors, took for granted . . . but anyhow it was the hay fever that got me demoted to the backup crew, where I knew I didn't stand a chance."

"Of flying to Mars?"

"That's right."

"And did you go on being a backup member?"

"No."

"Aut Caesar aut nihil."

"That's one way of putting it."

He unclasped his hands and sank deeper into his armchair. Sitting there with eyelids half open, he seemed to be digesting my words. Then a twitch of the eyebrows and a flicker of a smile.

"Let's return to earth. Did all the victims have allergies?"

"Just about, though in one case it was never substantiated. The allergies varied, dust allergy being the most common, followed by asthma. . . ."

"And when was it you were afraid? A moment ago you mentioned . . ."

"I remember two different occasions. The first time was in the hotel restaurant, when another Adams was paged to the phone. I knew it was a popular name, I knew they were paging someone else; still, for a moment I had the feeling it wasn't just a coincidence."

"You had the feeling they were paging a dead man, is that it?"

"Not at all, I thought it was the start of something. That it was a code word being used so none of the other customers would be the wiser."

"Did it ever occur to you it might have been someone from your own team?"

"Out of the question. Under no circumstances were they to get in touch with me. Only in the event of a catastrophe, say, a declaration of war, was Randy, our leader, supposed to approach me directly. But only under such conditions."

"Excuse me for being so inquisitive, but this strikes me as important.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.