Cats Undercover by Ged Gillmore

Author:Ged Gillmore
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: deGrevilo Publishing
Published: 2017-11-29T05:00:00+00:00

The sun had fully risen by the time Asquith finally stopped hopping from tree to tree. He had led the cats to a clearing where six great oaks stood in a circle.

‘Mr Asquith,’ said Bunk, as he and Tuck trotted up, ‘I insist on payment as promised. Will you give me your details so I can ensure a bushel of the best quality nuts is sent to you?’

‘Don’t be squalid!’ squeaked the squinty squirrel squeamishly, looking around in case someone had overheard. ‘I can’t accept gifts for forest services, not unless I document them on the gift register, and then, oh, the tax implications are enough to make me squiffy! Please, don’t mention it again. Oh Gerald, here you are!’

This last sentence was directed to a large rabbit who had appeared on the ground from behind one of the oaks.

‘Oh hello, how do you dooo?’ said the rabbit to Tuck. ‘You must be the larger of the two black cats who are looking to consult the woo.’

‘Incredible!’ said Asquith on his branch, who clearly knew how fast news travels in the forest. ‘Whatever gave it away? Was it is his largeness, his blackness or his catness?’

The rabbit pretended not to have heard the squirrel above him and gave Tuck and Bunk a tight smile.

‘Do you have a ticket?’

‘Of course they don’t,’ said Asquith. ‘Sheryl sent them. She keeps the tickets for herself, she’s saving up for a pair of legs. And don’t bother asking for a reference number, either. I honestly don’t know why she always gets those “Outstanding In Her Field” awards.’

Again the rabbit ignored him.

‘Ticket?’ he said to Tuck.

‘I want to see the Wise Old Owl,’ said Tuck. ‘I need some advice.’

‘You’ll need a ticket,’ said the rabbit.

‘Oh, for goodness sake, Gerald,’ squeaked Asquith the squirrel. ‘Go and get the woo. It’s not like there’s a queue is there?’

Now, at last, the rabbit looked up into the oak. He stared at Asquith, and Asquith stared at him, each seeming to dare the other to look away first, until Tuck said, ‘Oh please, let me see him. And maybe ask the woo to find the Wise Old Owl?’

‘The woo is the Wise Old Owl’ said the rabbit, turning back from the squirrel. ‘It’s an acronym.’

‘A what?’

‘An acronym,’ said Bunk quietly. ‘A series of initials made into a word. ‘Woo’ means Wise Old Owl, just like ‘radar’ means RAdio Detecting And Ranging and ‘sonar’ means SOund Navigation And Ranging and ‘laser’ means Light Amplification by the Stimulated Emission of Radiation.’

The rabbit looked impressed by Bunk’s education (and, indeed, you might want to learn the paragraph above off by heart so that one day a rabbit will be impressed by you too) and he relaxed visibly.

‘Well, can’t the acronym ask the woo to bring the owl with him?’ said Tuck.

Asquith the squirrel squeaked a little laugh at this, but the rabbit breathed a frustrated sigh and hopped stompily off to the oak on the other side of the clearing.

‘Oh, Wise One!’ he shouted to a hole halfway up the tree.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.