Bringing in Finn by Sara Connell

Author:Sara Connell
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Seal Press
Published: 2012-07-07T04:00:00+00:00

Dr. Colaum met us in her office; it was the same as it had been each time we’d prepared to start an IVF cycle: I allowed myself to hope. Dr. Colaum invited a spirit of optimism metered with a heavy dose of science. She continually looked for options and focused on positive actions. Today, though, I could not bring myself to meet her eyes when we entered the consultation room. I focused on her hair, pulled up in her usual bun on the top of her head.

Rachel dragged an extra chair across the room and positioned it in front of Dr. Colaum’s desk. The room contained the now familiar Frank Lloyd Wright artwork and framed photographs of Dr. Colaum’s many grandchildren. But the desk itself looked bigger, even though there were now three of us sitting across from Dr. Colaum, whereas before it had always been just Bill and I. I thought of the axiom about there being strength in numbers.

Dr. Colaum regarded us each individually. Rachel took a seat in a chair on Dr. Colaum’s side of the desk, pen poised over our folder, like a court stenographer ready to take notes. I looked at our folder; once flat and pristine, it was now frayed at the corners and over four inches thick, containing ultrasound photos and notes from the past five years of fertility processes. My throat felt dry; I wished I’d brought a glass of water in from the waiting room.

“I read your letter,” Dr. Colaum began. I tried to gauge her point of view but was unable to detect anything from her body language. Her face was inscrutable.

“I’ve done some research,” she went on. “As you already know, there have been some cases of successful pregnancies in postmenopausal women, including surrogacy pregnancies through IVF.” She seemed to be speaking unusually slowly, elongating her words and pausing between phrases. I sensed hesitation, but it could have been my imagination.

“Such pregnancies are possible,” she said, rephrasing what she’d already said. Finally, she pulled her reading glasses off her nose and let them dangle from the chain between across her chest. “Why don’t you ask me what you want to know?”

Bill spoke first, his question already poised like slingshot. “When is such a pregnancy possible?”

“A pregnancy is possible any time a woman still has a functioning uterus. A pregnancy such as the one you are proposing is feasible if a woman has a healthy uterus, is in excellent overall physical health, has normal to low normal blood pressure, and has had previous successful pregnancies.” I felt encouraged and sat straighter in my chair. I looked at my mother, whose eyes had widened, and nodded.

“From the information you’ve shared with me,” Dr. Colaum said, now turning to my mother, “Kris, you fit this profile.”

What followed took on the form of an interview. Dr. Colaum asked my mother questions about vaginal births, tearing afterward, menstrual cycles before menopause, and symptoms during. My mother hesitated a few times, looking at Bill and me for cues about how descriptive to be.

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