Brightonomicon, The by Rankin Robert

Author:Rankin, Robert [Rankin, Robert]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction, General, Fantasy, Science Fiction
ISBN: 9780575085466
Publisher: Gollancz
Published: 2005-01-01T15:00:00+00:00

‘Have no fears on my account,’ I said. ‘I know which hand to hold my knife and fork in.’

‘It is “in which hand to hold my knife and fork”.’

‘Well, if you know, too, then we will be fine.’

Mr Rune rolled his eyes and shook his head, but did not choose to employ his stout stick at this particular moment.

‘Come then, Rizla,’ he said unto me. ‘Follow on.’

And so I followed on.

The weather was most pleasant for the time of year and the rich autumnal colours of the conker trees made a striking contrast with the pale blue sky.

I followed on into Hangleton Park, towards stately Hangleton Manor. It looked to me to be exactly as a manor house should be: Georgian, mellow red-bricked, ivy-hung and slatily slated. It was a quality dwelling. It had class. Before it were parked a number of swank automobiles upon which lounged liveried chauffeurs puffing Park Drives and discussing the sex lives of the Windsors (in muted and respectful tones, of course).

‘I am going to buy myself a gaff like this,’ I said to Mr Rune, as we crunched our way up the gravelly gravelled drive.

‘Admirable,’ said Mr Rune. ‘Are you hoping for a win on the football pools?’

‘No,’ I said. ‘I am trusting to that contract I signed for you in blood. It promised worldly wealth, I recall, and long before I write up the account of our adventures together, which you are convinced will become a number-one bestseller.’

‘Really?’ said Mr Rune.

‘In the small print,’ I said.

‘Ah,’ said he. ‘I never read the small print.’

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