Book 38 - I Shall Wear Midnight by Terry Pratchett

Author:Terry Pratchett [Pratchett, Terry]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fantasy, Fiction, Discworld
ISBN: 9780061433047
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2010-09-28T07:00:00+00:00

24 See Glossary, page 344.

25 In fact, chain-mail trousers are always full of holes, but they shouldn’t be full of holes seven inches wide.

Chapter 10

THE MELTING GIRL

‘MISS ACHING, I must ask you to leave the Chalk,’ said the Baron, his face wooden.

‘I will not!’

The Baron’s expression did not change. Roland could be like that, she remembered, and it was worse now, of course. The Duchess had insisted on being in his office for this interview, and had further insisted on having two of her own guards there, as well as two from the castle. That pretty much filled all the space in the study, and the two pairs of guards glared at each other in all-out professional rivalry.

‘It is my land, Miss Aching.’

‘I know I have some rights!’ said Tiffany.

Roland nodded like a judge. ‘That is a very important point, Miss Aching, but regrettably you have no rights at all. You are not a leaseholder, you are not a tenant and you own no land. In short, you have nothing on which rights are based.’ He said all this without looking up from the foolscap paper in front of him.

Deftly, Tiffany reached across and snatched it from his fingers, and was back in her chair before the guards could react. ‘How dare you talk like that without looking me in the eye!’ But she knew what the words meant. Her father was a tenant of the farm. He had rights. She did not. ‘Look,’ she said, ‘you can’t just turn me out. I’ve done nothing wrong.’

Roland sighed. ‘I really hoped that you would see reason, Miss Aching, but since you assert total innocence, I must spell out the following facts. Item: you admit that you took the child Amber Petty away from her parents and lodged her with the fairy folk who live in holes in the ground. Did you think this was the right place for a young girl? According to my men, there seemed to be a lot of snails in the vicinity.’

‘Now just hold on, Roland—’

‘You will address my future son-in-law as “my lord”,’ snapped the Duchess.

‘And if I don’t, will you hit me with your stick, your grace? Will you grasp the nettle firmly?’

‘How dare you!’ the Duchess said, her eyes blazing. ‘Is this how you like your guests to be addressed, Roland?’

At least his bewilderment seemed genuine. ‘I haven’t the faintest idea what is being talked about here,’ he said.

Tiffany pointed her finger at the Duchess, causing the Duchess’s bodyguards to reach for their weapons, thus causing the castle guards to draw theirs too, so as not to be left out. By the time swords were safely disentangled and put where they belonged, the Duchess was already launching a counter-attack. ‘You should not put up with this insubordination, young man! You are the Baron, and you have given this … this creature notice to leave your lands. She is not conducive to public order, and if she still wilfully insists on not leaving, do I

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