Bill The Vampire (The Tome of Bill) by Gualtieri Rick

Author:Gualtieri, Rick [Gualtieri, Rick]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Wayman Publishing
Published: 2013-06-30T16:00:00+00:00

Kicking Ass and Taking Names

It was nice to be able to enjoy an afternoon of gaming. It was something I had started taking for granted, but after the last couple of weeks, it was like a glorious vacation from reality...minus the cost (or the exotic locale, open bar, and hot bikini babes...just trying to keep things in perspective, here). By the time the game broke up, a storm had moved in. I could deal with being waterlogged, as it also meant I could move about freely without fear of turning into a walking tiki torch.

Dave had written me the doctor's note I’d requested and had also typed out a pretty official-looking preliminary diagnosis on some hospital letterhead. He gave me instructions to first talk to my boss and let him direct me to HR. That way, he wouldn't get his panties in a bunch that I'd gone over his head and would thus be less likely to cause a stink. Sounded like good advice. My boss, Jim, was typical middle management in that he wasn't above a little old-fashioned brown nosing. Since he saw me in person, at most, maybe a few times a month, I was fairly confident that a little ego gratification would be all I needed to grease the wheels and get this approved.

I arrived home a couple of hours later, a little damp (a vampire with an umbrella just doesn't sound cool), but none the worse for the experience. I opened the door and stopped dead in my tracks. Tom and Ed's remains were splayed out on the living room floor. Blood was everywhere. They had been slaughtered like cattle.

* * *

Just kidding! Had you there for a second, though, didn't I?

Ed was walking out of the kitchen, a cup of ramen in hand, as I stepped in the door.

“S'up, Nosferatu?” he asked casually. Great, now the vampire nicknames were starting. If I knew Ed, he now had a whole list of IMDB derived names to call me by. Best to ignore him and hope he went away.

I followed him into the living room, where Tom sat. “Ah, the prodigal prince of darkness returns,” he quipped. “I see you made it back in one piece.”

“It was touch and go there for a bit,” I confirmed. “But, yep, no worse for the wear. You guys do anything good this weekend?”

“I took a road trip yesterday,” Ed said.

“Forget us,” Tom interrupted. “What happened with you?”

“Please tell me you tapped that sweet piece of ass that picked you up on Friday,” Ed commented.

To that, I answered in the only way that I could. “Of course. Taught her some new names for God by the time I was done.”

“You're so full of shit,” he said with a smile.

“Maybe,” I admitted. “But I've got all of eternity to wear her down. Eventually, she won't be able to help herself.”

“Yeah, I'm sure Hell has to freeze over sometime,” Tom smirked. “Although speaking of help, I found your note.”

“Good,” I said. “Fortunately, you didn't need to follow my instructions.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.