Beyond the Tiger Mom by Rita Foelker

Author:Rita Foelker
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-8048-4602-8
Publisher: Tuttle Publishing

WHAT ASIAN MOTHERS SAY ABOUT PLAY

Listening to parents tell me about their children’s busy schedules made me wonder whether Asian kids on the island ever have time to play. Childhood and play have been synonymous through history. “Go play,” we tell our kids, because play is what children do naturally. So one warm evening, I met with a group of Indian mothers at a playground to ask them about their views toward free play; that is, play that is not structured and driven by adults. We mothers sat on benches, watching our children chase each other up and down the slide. Observing the delight and excitement on the kids’ faces as they ran around, I couldn’t help smiling. There are few sights more soothing than that of children playing. When I lived in New York City, I routinely encountered parents and early-childhood educators who romanticized play—“play is the work of childhood,” they would say—and I can understand why. When else can we be magical superheroes with powers that allow us to save the world from invading aliens? And when else can we view the world from the branches of a wide tree or the very top of the jungle-gym, full of awe at our own strength and skill? When else but in childhood can we blow and chase bubbles, laughing with glee at their ephemeral beauty? When else can we glide down a slide for the pure joy of movement? Through play, children express their imagination, exuberance, and wonder, and what work could possibly be more important than that for our kids?

Anita from Kolkata agreed with me. “I want my children to go down to the playground in the evenings and play because I remember playing like that when I was a child. All the children in my apartment building would come down to play in the evenings. The boys would play cricket, the girls would play badminton, and we would chat and hang out together. But where’s the time? Between activities and academics, our children’s schedules are just so jam-packed these days. You don’t want to be the only mother who is not making your child play a sport and learn an instrument. And if children don’t do supplementary math like Kumon or Abacus, then they fall behind in math. So given how competitive and fast-paced things are these days, where’s the time for that kind of old-fashioned play?”

Meera agreed. “I wonder what the end result of all these activities and tuitions will be? Will it all matter or not?” She added, “I do let my children play in the evenings because it’s healthy for them.”

However, Jhanvi, mother of ten-year-old Malvika, disagreed. “Our children do so many extracurricular activities that we never had access to when we were young. They are so privileged and lucky to be able to do art and gymnastics and piano. These kids have everything. We are investing everything in them, so they need to work hard and do well.”

There was a chorus of agreement:

“It’s true.

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