Bears & Balls: The Colbert Report A-Z (An Unofficial Fan Guide) by Sharilyn Johnson & Remy Maisel

Author:Sharilyn Johnson & Remy Maisel [Johnson, Sharilyn]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: comedy, satire, improv, The Daily Show, Colbert Report, Steven Colbert, Stephen Colbert
Publisher: Third Beat Productions
Published: 2014-11-18T00:00:00+00:00

S

Saginaw Spirit (2006-2007)

He shoots, he scores! The Saginaw Spirit, an Ontario Hockey League team based in Saginaw, Michigan, was looking for a name for their new mini-mascot, which just happened to be an eagle. Stephen urged the Nation to vote for the name “Colbeagle” and the Nation obliged. After a half-million hits to the team’s website, Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle was the winning name by a landslide.

Steagle made his on-ice debut at the Spirit’s September 30, 2006 game, introduced to fans by a prerecorded video of Stephen on the scoreboard. Just seconds into his victory lap, he tripped and fell. “He’s a fledgling,” Stephen explained.

A mascot was just the beginning. Stephen was now personally invested in the team, and kept the Nation up to date on the Spirit’s scores and standings. One particular goal scored against them had Stephen fuming: Oshawa Generals fans celebrated the goal by throwing stuffed bears on the ice. Stephen saw this as an obvious personal attack on him. (In reality, it was part of the team’s annual Teddy Bear Toss for charity.)

Stephen gave Spirit fans the chance to retaliate during the rematch. Oshawa, Ontario is home to the Canadian headquarters of General Motors, and Stephen noted that their recently released third-quarter earnings statement showed a “little cash flow problem.” And while Stephen clarified that he was definitely not urging fans to throw copies of the General Motors annual report on the ice to celebrate Saginaw’s first goal, he said he would make a PDF copy of the document available through colbertnation.com.

Before fans could pummel the ice with paper, Oshawa Mayor John Gray took to the local airwaves and proposed a truce, in the form of a bet. If Oshawa won the rematch, Stephen would have to wear a Generals jersey for an entire show. If Saginaw won, Mayor Gray would proclaim “Stephen Colbert Day” in Oshawa. Stephen accepted.

Saginaw was victorious, with copies of the annual report predictably strewn across the ice after the first goal was scored. Mayor Gray confirmed that he’d proclaim March 20, 2006 Stephen Colbert Day in Oshawa. In the interests of good sportsmanship, Stephen also wore a Generals jersey on the air, which had been transformed into a pair of tight-fitting shorts with the team logo displayed across his derriere.

Getting the Colbert Bump gave the Spirit a 5x increase in merchandise sales that season. The team continues to use Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle as its mini-mascot, alongside its main mascot Sammy Spirit.

Shofar (2006-2014)

(See also: Atone Phone)

“You can really taste the ram!” A shofar is a ram’s horn, which Jewish people blow like a trumpet on the High Holidays. According to Stephen, the shofar “sounds as good as it tastes.” Always one for cultural sensitivity, Stephen blew the shofar every autumn around Yom Kippur—the Day of Atonement—before reminding Jews to call in to his Atone Phone line and apologize for having wronged him.

In 2009, during the swine flu epidemic, a group of rabbis flew around Israel in a plane while praying and blowing the shofar to ward off the disease.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.