Barney's Version (Movie Tie-In Edition) by Mordecai Richler

Author:Mordecai Richler [Richler, Mordecai]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction, General
ISBN: 9780307367389
Google: 63M00JBABOEC
Publisher: Random House Digital, Inc.
Published: 2010-08-23T03:00:00+00:00

“Boogie,” I said, “I’m in love. For the first time in my life I am truly, seriously, irretrievably in love.”

Of course I didn’t realize at the time that The Second Mrs. Panofsky was standing directly behind me, and now she embraced me, rocking my head. “And so am I, honey,” she said. “And so am I.”

With guilt my heart was laden. Yes. But, all the same, I slipped out of the Ritz ballroom a couple of minutes later and got into the first taxi waiting in line outside.

6

“Windsor Station, please,” I said to the driver, “and hurry.” I had only minutes to spare, but, shit shit shit, the traffic was being tied up by Stanley Cup merrymakers. Cars, crawling along, honking their horns. Bugles blowing. Drunks, cavorting in the middle of the street, shouting, “We’re number one! We’re number one!”

My heart thudding, I did manage to get to the station in time to buy a sleeper on the overnight train to Toronto. I found Miriam in the third car, deep into Goodbye, Columbus, and collapsed into the seat beside her, grinning goofily, just as the train jerked to a start. “Hi,” I said.

“I don’t believe this,” she said, banging her book shut.

“Neither do I, but here I am.”

“If you don’t get off this train when we stop at Montreal West, I will.”

“I’m in love with you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You don’t even know me. Montreal West. You or me. Make up your mind right now.”

“If you get off there, so will I.”

“How could you do such a thing on your wedding night?”

“I did.”

“You’re blind drunk. I’m going to call the conductor.”

I showed her my ticket.

“Please, Barney, don’t embarrass me any further. Get off the train at Montreal West.”

“If I do, will you agree to have dinner with me in Toronto?”

“No,” she said, leaping up and grabbing a bag from the overhead rack. “Now I’m going to my sleeper and I’m locking the door. Good night.”

“You’re not being awfully friendly, considering the trouble I’ve gone to.”

“You’re crazy. Good night.”

I did stagger off the train at Montreal West,50 and stood on the platform, swaying, watching it chug out of the station. And then, lo and behold, Miriam waved from her window and I could swear she was laughing. My heart soared. Encouraged, I began to run after the train, trying to board it again. I stumbled and fell, ripping my trousers and scraping my kneecap. Outside, I was lucky to find a taxi. “the Ritz,” I said. “Hey, that was some game, eh?”

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