Asimov's SF, June 2006 by Issue 06 # June

Author:Issue 06 # June
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Published: 2011-07-10T14:00:52+00:00

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The Analects of Decomprecius

Translated by Wil McCarthy

1. The master said, the airlock is a place for contemplation. To discuss your task beforehand is good. To discuss your errors afterward is good. To chatter is disrespectful.

When the red lamp is extinguished, the outer hatch may be opened.

When the green lamp is burning, the inner hatch.

If the lamps remain dark, repair them.

2. The master said, decompress for fifteen minutes in a majority nitrogen atmosphere. Decompress for ten minutes in a majority noble atmosphere, and for five minutes in a majority oxygen atmosphere.

3. The master told his students, linearly interpolate. He said, are you fools or spacemen?

4. There are some who decompress for thirty or even forty minutes, as if their time did not have value. Eschew this.

5. The master said, the air grows on trees! It isn’t free!

Truly sublime are the words of the men of Apollo, for they are calm.

6. Said the student, my atmosphere is pure oxygen. Since there is nothing to bubble in my blood, shall I open the hatch? Replied the master, has it been five minutes?

7. Prebreathing is acceptable. Decompress anyway.

8. The master remarked, the inside and the outside are different places. In between them you must cleanse your mind. This is the true purpose of decompression.

Do not fill the airwaves with prattle. Remember that the bandwidth of free space is limited.

9. The master said, the working of valves should be attended with respect. Remember that systems can fail.

Let the airlock be your favorite place. Do not imagine you are elsewhere.

10. Obviously, your face will itch when you cannot scratch it. Said the master, are you a spaceman or aren’t you?

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