Are We Still On For Tonight? Dating During the Zombie Apocalypse by Lafont Evelyn

Author:Lafont, Evelyn [Lafont, Evelyn]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Helios Media, Inc.
Published: 2012-02-26T04:30:00+00:00

Chapter 5

As we wound our way through the quiet, tree-lined streets of the planned community on the outskirts of downtown, we attempted to clean up any fresh blood. Allison was wiping her face between loud, hitching sobs left over from our last incident, and Dougie was trying, in his way, to comfort her. Molly checked Alan for injuries; he flinched and raised his arms to push her away.

I was blood-free and blissfully ignored, so I decided to close my eyes for a moment, since the only zombie action was the occasional morning jogger or kid who’d been on his or her way to school. I didn’t even realize that I’d dozed off until the sound of raised voices woke me.

“Fuck you. You get out where I say you get out and no other place unless you want to jump the fuck out of a moving goddamned vehicle.”

“I’m just asking if you could take me nearer to my apartment. It’s not far from—”

“Shut the fuck up before I shoot your fucking face off.” At this new, female tone, I opened one of my eyes to see that Allison was turned around in her seat, pointing the gun right in Alan’s face. I didn’t move a muscle so as not to attract her, and her trigger finger’s, attention.

“Bitch, you got PMS or somethin’? Put the fucking gun down before you hurt your own stupid ass with it.”

“Fuck you! I’ll fucking shoot you!” Allison pivoted and was now pointing the gun at Dougie’s head.

“Baby, I know you don’t mean nothin’ about this. You’re stressed the fuck out and I understand, because I’m stressed the fuck out, too, but if you don’t put that goddamned fucking gun down, I’m going to punch your fucking teeth in. And if you shoot me first, you ain’t never gonna get yourself to Eddie’s. So calm the fuck down and drop the gun on the fucking floor.”

Allison started to cry louder but released the gun, which landed with a thud. Alan and Dougie sighed with relief.

“You know, PMS is a real disorder but in a high emotional environment, such as this one, it’s probably best to—”

Alan and Dougie together: “Shut the fuck up!” Molly closed her mouth with an audible chomp.

After another fifteen minutes of silent driving punctuated only by Allison’s pitiful mewling, we got to Central and Fifth. It was clear of zombies and, true to his word, Dougie stopped the car and said, “Free ride’s over, assholes. Get the fuck out.”

Molly, Alan, and I all hustled out and, when we tried to say goodbye through the car’s open windows, Dougie took off, all screeching tires and road dust.

A high-pitched, nasal serenade invaded my thoughts when Molly began to speak. “So, what do we do now?”

She and Alan looked at me expectantly. “Why are you looking at me?”

“You’re the one who announced you had to get to a special destination, and here we are on the way to it—so what’s the plan?” When he’d finished speaking, Alan crossed his arms and stared at me.

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