Anno Zombus, Year 1 (Book 12): December by Rowlands Dave

Author:Rowlands, Dave [Rowlands, Dave]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Zombie Apocalypse
Published: 2021-02-01T05:00:00+00:00

noon? roughly lunchtime?

We sat staring at the vastness of the galaxy set out before us for hours. Nobody wanted to spoil it by speaking. I think we each had our own personal revelation while watching a little slice of eternity. I simply sat with Apocalypse Girl and Baby, holding the hand of the one and the entire body of the other and knew that I would never see a sight more profound, more beautiful than all of existence itself, right there in front of my face. Sure, I knew that it stretched on for thousands of light-years, but there it all was!

The damn Dog broke the spell that had us all ensorcelled. Scratching and whining at the hatch in order to be let out, the poor beast looked quite pathetic. Apocalypse Girl designated Viking as being on clean-up detail if any doggy ‘accidents’ were to happen, a duty he swiftly delegated to Giant as her superior officer.

“Yes, sir, fuck you, sir.” Was her more than appropriate response.

“Why the designers didn’t think to install toilets in this thing is beyond me.” German Doctor had a point.

“They did.” Smart Girl pointed to the one seat at the rear of the ship. It had a liftable seat, under which was a vacuum chamber. You sat, shat, flushed it out into space.

“I am not going in there!” Valkyrie announced with certainty, a sentiment that I’m sure we all shared.

“I could find somewhere to land if we’re all that desperate for a wee…” Apocalypse Girl reluctantly informed us.

“Can’t we at least get a look at the Moon first?” German Doctor wheedled.

“I would like to see the other satellite as well. The Klee-vics mothership moon? That would be interesting to look at more closely. Assuming we don’t get attacked of course!” Smart Guy suggested.

“Which one is which?” Apocalypse Girl studied the navigation screen intently. “Our old one is the further, larger one isn’t it? Hold on!” She pressed a few buttons in quick succession.

This time there was indeed a sense of motion. Combine the feeling of an elevator stopping at your chosen floor multiplied by a thousand with sudden intense gravitational pressure holding you in your seat for a period of seven seconds. Then old Luna, our Moon, was there. Sitting in place, welcoming Earthlings back for the first time in decades.

The sense of wonder was broken by the most horrendous stink I had ever encountered in my entire life. Given the events of the last year… that’s an accomplishment.

Sure enough, Apocalypse Dog had suffered terribly during our brief period at warp. Or hyperspace or whatever the fuck it was. The mess had exploded from every orifice that the poor pup had.

“This,” Viking told Giant, “is a two-person operation.” She agreed, if only to reduce the stench somewhat as rapidly as possible.

A few short, smelly moments later, we watched solemnly as we gave a burial-in-space to the remains of Apocalypse Dog’s last meal. Somehow, I managed to suppress the urge to salute as the turd-torpedo sailed off into the black unknown.

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