An Embarrassment of Riches by Gerald Hansen

Author:Gerald Hansen
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Mint Books
Published: 2007-10-09T00:00:00+00:00

COMPENSATION

CHAPTER EIGHT

Moira, the eldest Flood daughter, gawked at her father over the dinner table as if he had just demanded she prance stone bollocks naked before the Bleeding Heart of Jesus above the fireplace.

“Ye kyanny be serious!” she gawped. “Ye had me rushed over from Malta to help ye out, like, and haven’t I been help enough? Filling out them compensation papers, getting ye Legal Aid for a case that surely would’ve been thrown out of court without me help? Ye’ve already a protective steps order in place, barring wer Ursula from entering a house she owns.”

“Ach, what’s the sense in having a sister win the lotto if we kyanny squeeze her for all she’s worth?” Paddy roared through a mouth stuffed with cabbage. “She’s minted, the bitch! Minted!”

The Floods were never in the habit of ringing Moira as it was a long-distance call and she was a filthy perv. But as Roisin was back in Hawaii, the man of the house had been at his wit’s end as to how to proceed. As the first-born daughter, Moira was the only one blessed with an education, and although she had struggled to pass her finals and had barely qualified for her job as a health and safety inspector, she was the family intellectual, the only one of the lot who wouldn’t spend their life ringing up steak and kidney pies or drawing the brew. So Paddy had demanded she race home.

Flanked in a leather peacoat and austere jumper, a pair of dour spectacles jammed on the bridge of her nose, Moira had been terrible handy, but now her daddy wanted more.

She had helped them batter Padraig around a bit to make his injuries worse than they were, and that had been bad enough—Moira hadn’t been able to look the doctors at Altnagelvin in the eye—but now they were expecting her to cross the line even further. With Lily McCracken, of all people!

“Get you up to that hospital again and do as you’re told!” Paddy growled.

“The tears of joy should be fairly lashing down yer face,” Fionnuala warned, “for the chance to help the family out. Ye should be grateful we can look ye in the eye, even, the disgrace ye’ve brought upon wer good name!”

“But—”

“Yer sins of the flesh have barred ye eternally from the pearly gates, but ye can still use em to help feed yer family!”

“What youse are asking me to do, but...” Moira pleaded. “Haven’t youse evidence enough? If the peelers were to find out, it’ll be me that gets sent down! Have ye any clue what them in the nick do to health and safety inspectors?”

“As if the goings on in a weemin’s prison cell block wouldn’t be heaven on earth for the likes of you!” Fionnuala snarled.

Moira wilted.

“I'm only stating the bleedin obvious here!” Fionnuala snapped, daring her daughter to contradict.

Moira helplessly inspected her plate of ham hocks.

“But me and Lily...We’ve not been together since—”

All eyes looked up from their plates, including those of the youngest wanes gobbling down on the sitting room carpet before the telly.

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