Among the Red Stars by Gwen C. Katz

Author:Gwen C. Katz
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2017-07-28T04:00:00+00:00

TWENTY-ONE

16 July 1942

Dear Valyushka,

We captured a couple of German scouts yesterday. Not spies, just regular soldiers in faded camouflage. They were about my age, proper blond Aryan boys, but ragged and scrawny as starved rats. I expected them to be defiant. They weren’t. They seemed dazed, like they weren’t sure what had happened or how they had ended up here.

It was impossible not to see myself in them. I wondered if they had enlisted or been drafted, whether they fought because they truly believed in fascist ideals or because they were made to fight, or simply because Germany was their home and they didn’t know what else to do.

Pashkevich interrogated them himself. I don’t know if he was supposed to or if he just wanted to. Of course they didn’t speak Russian. Pashkevich berated them and smacked them around a bit for that and then found someone to translate. Petya clung to Vakhromov, who whisked him away, muttering, “The child doesn’t need to see this.”

Turns out they didn’t have anything to tell us that we didn’t already know. Pashkevich refused to believe that. He took out his service pistol and struck one of them across the mouth. It broke his jaw. The other begged him to stop and swore that they had already told him everything. So Pashkevich shot them. First the wounded one while his comrade watched. Then the other. One bright orange gunshot after another.

Pashkevich saw me staring at the bodies. He said, “Do you have a problem, Danilin?”

I said, “No, sir.”

He said, “Good. Now take out this trash and bury it.” And I did.

I could make excuses. I could say that it wasn’t my place to say anything or that it wouldn’t have made any difference. But the truth is that he was hurting them and I was afraid that if I tried to stop him, he would hurt me.

Or worse, give me the pistol.

I keep thinking about what I would have done if he had ordered me to shoot them. I wish I could say I don’t know. But I do. I would have done it. I would never have forgiven myself but I would have pulled the trigger. I wouldn’t have had the courage not to.

You worry about what bombing the enemy says about you. But you’re doing what must be done in a time of war. If no one was willing to drop bombs, we would lose the war and we would all be enslaved or slaughtered at the hands of the fascists. Those scouts, though, their deaths helped no one. And I allowed it to happen. What does that say about me?

Our vacation by the reservoir will come to an end soon. We’re awaiting orders. I’m reluctant to touch my radio for fear of what I’ll hear. Do you remember the troops encircled at Rzhev, how they bravely held out for all those months? They’re gone now. Wiped out. If they weren’t important enough to save, I have no illusions about what will happen to us.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.