Aldrin Adams and the Cheese Nightmares by Paul Howard

Author:Paul Howard [Howard, Paul]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780241441664
Publisher: Penguin Random House Children's UK
Published: 2021-06-24T00:00:00+00:00

Agatha was standing outside the shop. And with her was a group of about thirty people. Aldrin spotted Mr and Mrs Gaskin, and Mrs Dabrowski, and Mrs Banerjee with her three kids.

But these weren’t the friendly-faced customers that Doug and Aldrin knew. They were angry, and they were holding placards with slogans on them, like:

CHEESE – IT’S NOT GOUDA FOR YOU!

And:

YOU CAN’T BRIE SELLING THAT POISON AROUND HERE!

And:

CLOSE THIS SHOP! IT’S FOR THE GRATER GOOD!

And when the crowd saw Doug and Aldrin, they started chanting:

‘GO TO HELLA WITH YOUR MOZZARELLA! GO TO HELLA WITH YOUR MOZZARELLA!’

‘What are you doing?’ Doug asked Agatha. ‘You’ll scare away all my customers!’

‘That’s the idea of a picket!’ Agatha replied coldly.

‘You’re going to put us out of business,’ Aldrin said.

‘And what business is that?’ Agatha asked. ‘The business of frightening people out of their wits?’

‘I’ll call the police,’ Doug threatened.

‘Yes, do that,’ Agatha urged him. ‘I think they’d be very interested to learn about the mind-altering substances that you’re selling in this so-called shop.’

‘For the last time,’ Doug told the crowd, ‘my cheese is NOT responsible for your nightmares!’

‘Then how do you explain it?’ asked Mrs Banerjee. ‘For three nights in a row, I dreamt that a pack of wolves was trying to get into my house – and that was after eating your ricotta. My children had it as well. They woke up screaming – seeing three-eyed monsters and all sorts of awful things.’

‘But we’ve run this shop for years,’ Doug tried to explain. ‘And no one has EVER complained about our cheese giving them nightmares before.’

‘I now have reports,’ Agatha told him, ‘from more than one hundred people who, in the past week, have eaten cheese from this shop and experienced disturbing dreams. We are not all liars, Mr Adams.’

‘My dad isn’t saying you’re liars,’ Aldrin told her. ‘He’s saying there must be some other explanation for what’s been happening.’

‘What other explanation?’ she demanded.

‘I don’t know. But it’s obvious that something very strange is going on.’

It was at that exact moment that Aldrin noticed a stranger watching them from the shadow of the bus shelter on the other side of Burnett Road. He was a tall, powerfully built man, with a pale complexion, a wild mane of black, curly hair, hooded eyes, a crooked nose and dark sideburns that ran down to his chin. He wore a long black coat, buttoned right up to his neck, and, most noticeable of all, a horrible smirk on his face.

‘I’ve heard just about enough of this!’ Agatha declared. ‘We intend to stand here all day, every day, Mr Adams, until we’ve turned away every last one of your customers and closed this ghastly shop down.’

‘Please!’ Doug begged her. ‘This shop is our lives! Don’t do this to us!’

‘CHEDDAR! CHEDDAR! CHEDDAR!’

Agatha shouted.

And the others responded with:

‘OUT! OUT! OUT!’

‘CHEDDAR! CHEDDAR! CHEDDAR!’

‘OUT! OUT! OUT!’

‘CHEDDAR!’

‘OUT!’

‘CHEDDAR!’

‘OUT!’

‘CHEDDAR! CHEDDAR! CHEDDAR!’

‘OUT! OUT! OUT!’

Aldrin looked at his father’s devastated face. The last time he’d seen him look so desperately sad was the day of Cynthia’s funeral.

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