A Man's Guide to Pregnancy: How to Live With a Pregnant Person by John Zakour

Author:John Zakour
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: &NEW
ISBN: 9780957952850
Publisher: Metropolis Ink/End Table Books
Published: 2001-01-02T00:00:00+00:00

Boy’s names to avoid

Giving a boy one of these names is the same as stamping “beat me up a lot” on their forehead.

Maurice

Melvin

Marvin

Homer

Elvis (There was only one king)

Girl’s names

Acceptable girl’s names

The following is a list of girl’s name that you can use without having other people say: “Huh?”

Carol

Caroline

Cathy (with a C)

Cindy

Dawn

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Debra

Jessica

Lisa

Madonna (Just making sure you’re paying attention) Margaret

Marie

Mary

Melody

Nancy

Natalia

Natalie

Olga (It’s my wife’s name—I have to include it) Rachel

Rebecca

Sally

Susan

Teri

Girl’s names to avoid

These names will either make guys think your daughter is easy, or cause her to sue you—or both.

Flower

Zelda (Cool video game, lousy name)

Snow

Rain

(Any other weather condition)

Bunny

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Baby Showers

Baby showers have traditionally served two purposes. They have been a way for women to get together to shower the mom-to-be with presents (get it) and advice on how to rise their baby. Second and perhaps more importantly, they also gave the expectant mom some time with her girl friends and girl relatives so she could vent her frustrations on how her husband (you) aren’t caring and loving enough.

This is all fine and good, and since these things are traditionally held on Saturday or Sunday, that means you get some much needed free time to catch up on your sports watching. It also means not only do you get some cool, free stuff for your kid (and you) to play with, but your wife will also be much more relaxed. This relaxation is twofold, due to the sharing of ideas with others and her venting to her friends. Venting to her friends is much better than her venting to (on) you. Not only don’t you have to listen, but she’ll be pleased to learn that her friends’ husbands were just as big of bozos as you are.

This will make her happy. No woman wants her husband to be special when it comes to this sort of thing. So traditional showers are good things.

There is catch though; a few years ago somebody somewhere thought it might be fun (for some strange reason) to have co-ed showers. That means not only do you miss your sports events, but your wife misses her venting. This is not a good thing. Not only that, but you may have to partake in all sorts of very unmanly types of games often played at these types of events.

Luckily, there are a few things you can do to make the day still work for you (and your wife). One of them is to seek out the other guys there. This could be a good opportunity for you to practice your male bonding skills. After all, any place that has a party must also have a TV and refreshments. Seek these out with your fellow men. Heck, we used to be hunters and gatherers, so there is no reason why we can’t do it again. This not only allows you to talk about sports and to complain about your wives, but with you and the other men out of earshot your wife and her friends (and relatives) can bond and vent (though women usually don’t need much of a reason to bond).

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