Where the Stars End by Ross Anthony

Author:Ross Anthony [Anthony, Ross]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-02-23T16:00:00+00:00

In addition to the three bus routes we normally had to take, there were two more to get to the surgical center where they’d be performing my mother’s sleeve resection.

While we were both optimistic that the removal of half of one of my mom’s lungs would go well, the bus routes were solemn.

The crowds of people were quiet as everyone kept to themselves.

The cause was likely due in part by the unease and mystery of what would be happening next within our country.

However, my mother and I had to focus on her health. Political worries and frustrations could wait until she was better.

“I’m so happy that this is almost over,” I said as I grabbed her hand.

Her skin was dry and cracked.

“Me too, baby boy.” She grabbed onto my hand as a small tear fell from her face.

She was exhausted, as she’d had to stop her medications and wasn’t allowed any food or drink prior to the operation. Everything about her in that moment was in complete contrast of the free spirit she was the night prior. She was so close to relief; it would just be a little bit longer.

As we proceeded with our route on the bus, she continued to hold my hand. The way in which she was clutching me reminded me of the way Nicolas held his cross the other evening. It got me to thinking again about my mother’s praying.

“Mom?”

She looked at me.

“Why, after everything, do you still pray?”

“What do you mean?”

“After all of the cruel hardships you’ve been through in life, how can you still believe there’s a God?”

“Well,” she loosened her grip on my hand, “because I don’t believe it’s His fault for the bad things that have happened in my life, but it’s because of Him that I’ve made it through them, that I’ve gotten this far... and that I have you,” she grinned as she tightened her grip.

“But it is because of Him that Great Grandma kicked you out and basically put you on the street,” I added.

Her grin washed away into dismay. “Your great grandmother, along with so many others, have been misguided by an organization that uses God as collateral. If you pay this and do that, you’ll go to Heaven; if you don’t, then you’re punished with an eternity in Hell.” She rattled my hand, emphasizing, “I don’t believe any of that. We were put onto this Earth to love, learn, and teach one another. We are not here to judge each other. That, in the end, is for God to do. Also, I find there’s comfort in knowing that there’s more life to come after this one.”

All of the things she said deepened my admiration for her. She seemed to have everything figured out.

Being her son, I was disappointed in myself for not having the same unwavering beliefs. “I don’t know what I believe,” I admitted.

“I know you don’t, and that’s okay. You’ll find your way. It’s all a part of your journey.” She let go of my hand, but I was compelled to grab her hand back, again.

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