Unbreakable: How I Turned My Depression and Anxiety into Motivation and You Can Too by Jay Glazer

Author:Jay Glazer
Language: eng
Format: azw3, mobi, epub
Tags: Non-Fiction, Self Help, Mental Health, Personal Growth, Sports
ISBN: 9780063062870
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2022-01-25T00:00:00+00:00

7

Pillar 2: Laughter

The Perils of Being Jay Glazer’s Friend (aka Use Laughter to Fight the Gray)

Look, teammate, I know we just came off some heavy shit, talking about vets and suicide and homelessness, and all the crap some of our heroes go through, which is why I’m putting this chapter here. If ever there was a point where we need to laugh in this book, it’s now. Well, I need to laugh often, and that’s why I’m always doing whatever it takes to amuse myself. And I mean always, to the point where laughter has become the second pillar of how I fight the gray. I give you Exhibit A.

The Kansas City Chiefs had just finished up practice in training camp, back in 2008. One by one, they entered the locker room to peel off their uniforms and relieve their exhaustion from the previous two hours of hitting each other, again and again, in 100-degree weather. Each of the players sat down on their stools. But there, taped to the inside of each locker, was a Xeroxed copy of a porn video cover, starring none other than their captain and Pro Bowl tight end Tony Gonzalez. Only, Anthony Gonzalez was the name advertised in large, bold graphics across the top. Oh, but there was no mistaking the identity of the star of this skin flick.

The cover showed Tony Gonzalez, in full cop outfit with, well, his pants open. And these players AND his coaches had just been given the heads up about what Tony used to do for extra money . . . in his broke college years . . . or at least that’s what his fucked-up NFL Insider friend was trying to get them to think.

And it worked . . . to perfection!

One by one, his teammates pulled the paper off their lockers, turned, and looked at Tony with a glance that screamed, “I fucking KNEW it!” Some actually used these exact words as they looked at Tony, and then back to what they were holding, then back to Tony.

Meanwhile, I was taking all this in, marveling at the power of my Photoshop skills.

Gonzalez spent the rest of the day explaining that it was fake, and that I, his friend, was an asshole. Whoaaaaa, slow down there, sheriff. Lovable asshole is more like it.

Yes, this episode is a by-product of being friends with a guy like me, who lives in the filth of gray. I need laughter to help me through, even if that laughter leaves casualties in the form of my friends. The good news is that the only possible collateral damage is to the pride of the person being pranked. And since we’re all laughing together, and they’re sometimes inspired to play along, I could even be helping some people around me who’ve been living in the gray without me knowing it. Right? Like how I’m turning this into a favor I’m doing for my friends? Oh, and it doesn’t stop there.

Another time, Gonzalez—along with about

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