Touching for Pleasure by Adele Kennedy

Author:Adele Kennedy [Kennedy, Adele P. and Dean, Susan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 0985070730
Publisher: Pacific Media
Published: 2013-02-19T20:53:00+00:00

At one time or another you may have practiced containment without realizing it.

“I was at a party with my husband and I found myself attracted to another man. I knew there was nothing I could or would do about it, so I busied myself in the kitchen with my girlfriends, trying to forget about him. But while I was busy making sandwiches and fixing drinks, I remembered how fired up I was, bustling all over the place, enjoying the turn on.”

That was containment. She was channeling her excitement in an appropriate way under the circumstances, while sustaining her energy.

After you and your partner have each experienced the passive and active roles in the front caress, stop again to talk about the feelings that have been evoked.

At the next practice session do the front caress again, this time including the breast and genitals, but only casually. Touch the entire front of the body, giving everything a chance to wake up. Touch the breasts and genitals the same way you touch and hand or a face. One is no more important than the other. It would be naïve to suggest that being touched will not excite you and sexually charge certain parts of your body. There is nothing wrong with that; it feels delicious. Enjoy it for what it evokes in you. But the purpose of this exercise is to place no more emphasis on the breasts and genitals than you do the head or foot.

When you are the passive partner and you start to feel the urgency building, the body begins to demand greater sexual stimulation. This is your cue to slow it down and study what it feels like while you are building. To stop the urgency, remove your focus from the stimulated sexual areas and think instead about a nonsexual part of your body. Focus on your arm, or the palm of your hand, or your lower leg. This places the energy elsewhere, temporarily slowing down the genital rush. Once you really learn to do this, you will be in control of your own sexual responses. When you are in charge, you can enjoy the excitement for itself, without being diverted by orgasm.

Once again, you achieve more by going slowly, by not rushing from beginning to end. Remember that the enjoyment of an ice cream cone is in the repeated sweetness that comes from every lick, and the crunchiness of each bite of the cone. When you rush to finish it in five minutes you are disappointed that it is gone. Something is missed by rushing. When we receive a lovely rose, we take care of it hoping that it will stay colorful and fragrant, so that we may enjoy it for as long as possible. It is no different with your sexual experiences.

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