Total Waste of Makeup by Kim Gruenenfelder

Author:Kim Gruenenfelder [Gruenenfelder, Kim]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction, Contemporary Women, C429, Extratorrents, Kat
ISBN: 9780312348724
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Published: 2005-12-27T00:00:00+00:00

I’d been hinting for lots of things I’ll never buy for myself: a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes, a Prada bag, dinner at The Palm. Burke Williams is one of the hottest day spas in L.A. Anyone who even vaguely knows me knows that I’ve never been to a spa, I have no desire to go to a spa, and that I think they are a waste of…I read further: he spent over $500 on this!

You will always know people who have more dollars than sense.

As I continue to stare at the gift in silence, Drew looks at me and smiles, proud of himself. “You love it, don’t you?” he says confidently. “Dawn helped me pick it out. You get a private herbal bath, a full massage, something called an Emilee’s Intrigue—which includes another massage, a Hunter’s Retreat, and an Ultimate Facial—complete with foot massage. And I’ve included all the tips, too, so it’s totally free!”

All I can think is, Dear God, I work for Niles Crane. I feel like a mother who’s just been given crayons for her birthday from her three-year-old. I glue a smile onto my face and look him right in the eyes. “I love it.”

“I knew you would!” Drew exclaims proudly. “Well, actually, I asked Dawn, and she said you would.”

“Did Dawn happen to say why I would love it?” I ask.

“Yeah. She said you needed to do something about those clogged pores if you wanted to capture Jordan’s attention.”

“I don’t have clogged pores,” I say, bristling.

“She said you’d say that,” Drew tells me, “and that I’m supposed to tell you that you’ve had clogged pores since the day she met you. And not to get all huffy.”

Lovely.

“And she also says, and I am to quote her exactly, ‘And don’t be acting like this is some dumb-ass gift because, girl, you ain’t never been to a spa, so don’t be saying you don’t like something you haven’t even tried.’”

I look at Drew—the classically trained actor—and I am immediately suspicious. “She said ‘ain’t even tried,’ didn’t she?”

“Yes. But I didn’t think I could pull that off,” Drew admits. “Anyway, Dawn’s coming with me to the wrap party Friday night. You guys should go Friday afternoon, before the party. You can have the day off.”

“What do you mean ‘we guys’?” I ask.

“Well, I didn’t want you to go alone, so I got her a ‘Stress Therapy Day,’ too.”

Yeah, because I’m really going to want to be around her right now.

Drew hands me the spa’s “menu” of the services provided. I must say, it does sound rather indulgent. There’s a steam room and a Jacuzzi, too. And I do like Jacuzzis. Maybe it won’t be so bad.

“What’s an Emilee’s Intrigue?” I ask, reading the menu.

“Spelled with two e’s. It’s this thing where they cover you with eucalyptus leaves, wrap you in hot towels, and immerse you in steam.”

What am I? A tamale?

“It’s supposed to get rid of all the toxins in your body,” Drew continues. “Then they give you a full-body massage afterwards.

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