The Woman I Was Before: A gripping emotional page-turner with a twist by Kerry Fisher

Author:Kerry Fisher
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781786819468
Publisher: Bookouture

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Caption: Look at these beauties that have just arrived! Just need a cup of tea and the latest copy of Homes & Gardens and all is well with the world.

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#Snuggleup #LoveACuppa #LoveMyHome

25

Kate

Saturday 2 February

Since Daisy’s letter from Oskar had arrived a month ago, she had perfected the art of speaking without communicating, replying to my questions without answering them. Today’s conversation was another variation on how I’d tried to engage with her over the last four weeks. ‘So what does this weekend hold for you, darling?’

‘Just schoolwork really.’

‘Are you going out with Hannah at all?’

‘We haven’t made any plans yet.’

Although her tone was light and pleasant, I could feel an invisible arm pushing me away, batting me back into my corner.

On days when I was at work, I’d hare around in the morning, making her tea and toast to get rid of my guilt at rushing off before she left for college. She’d thank me, but I’d find it on the side untouched. Rejection by a thousand toast crumbs.

Daisy, like me, had become an expert at telling people what she wanted them to know and not a word more. My heart ached for her pre-school self, those bright eyes flicking around her world, seeing friends to be made among the random strangers at the supermarket, in the library, at the park, walking up to everyone and saying in her lispy little voice, ‘You’re my friend’. Over the next few years, the world knocked that naivety out of her. ‘Sam said his mother told him to stay away from me.’ ‘Lily said she’s not allowed to come to my house for playdates.’ ‘I shouldn’t tell anyone you used to have a best friend called Becky, should I?’

I’d hug her, so sad that my little girl – who couldn’t yet get the ‘i’ and ‘e’ the right way round in the word ‘friend’ – already knew that some friendships weren’t allowed and that some even grew so toxic it was better for people not to know about them.

Now she’d chosen Hannah as a friend, a person who as far as I could see liked talking about herself so much that Daisy wouldn’t have to work very hard to sidestep any awkward questions.

When Daisy retreated, I waited it out, knowing that her stubbornness was more than a match for my detective skills. But this morning, following another ‘No, haven’t had any feedback from course work lately,’ I snapped.

‘I know more about bloody Hannah over the road than what’s going on in your life. Have I done something wrong? Are you in trouble? Are you behind with your studies?’

The colour rushed into her cheeks. I braced myself, forcing my irritation down into something kinder and caring. Her eyes filled.

I stretched out my arms to her. She came to me but stood like a totem pole while I tried to cuddle her. ‘Can I help with anything that’s going on? Did your dad say something to upset you?’

And by the look on her face, I’d scored the perfect bullseye, but she just said, ‘I miss him, Mum.

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