The Three of Us by Ore Agbaje-Williams

Author:Ore Agbaje-Williams [Agbaje-Williams, Ore]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2023-05-16T00:00:00+00:00

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I grew up in a relatively normal family. Two parents, two children. My older sister and I get on well enough, though I wouldn’t say we’re close. Our parents avoided arguing in front of us as much as possible, and though they have ideas of what they hoped our lives would be like, they never pressured us to go to a specific university, study a particular subject, or go into a field that they felt was more financially lucrative. But the circles we moved in—among people of similar wealth brackets, i.e., bankers and brokers, engineers, doctors, business owners, lawyers, architects—pre-programmed into us the idea that those were the careers that bred success. We believed that a family, good career, money, and connections to people who had the same would provide fulfillment. Even though when I explain this to people who work in creative industries, people who rely on their “art” to provide them with “happiness,” they find my pursuit of wealth distasteful and a product of capitalist propaganda, I’m more than satisfied with my life. I know exactly what I want: an uncomplicated, content (because the parameters for happiness are always changing and therefore impossible to achieve), and, yes, privileged existence. And I know what it will take to get there and who I want with me on that journey. That meant knowing the traits I required in the person I chose to share that life with.

I would say I am family oriented. I would like to have children, to go on family holidays once or twice a year, Christmases in Nigeria every now and again. I believe that women should have equal opportunities to men, equal pay and rights, free tampons—all of that stuff. Equally, I am all for being the breadwinner, and I am more than happy to be the only person in the marriage who works. I earn more than enough to do so, and thankfully, just before we got married, my wife decided that she would like the same thing. So I work and she doesn’t and she gets to enjoy the fruits of my labor, something that I enjoy watching her do. I see my money as our money. She provides me with the emotional and physical support I need to go into the office Monday to Friday (and sometimes Saturday) and do my job. She asks about my day even if my work doesn’t interest her, gives me back massages after the particularly bad ones, goes with me to various work and family events, doesn’t ask too many questions about money and trusts me to handle it, rarely complains, keeps herself in great shape, and avoids any kind of conflict with my family, even though sometimes I can tell it pains her not to engage them on certain topics. In turn, I provide her with the means and freedom to live the life she deserves. Our life is one of agreement and peace, but the topic of children remains a point on which we concur with differing caveats.

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