The Punishment of Sherlock Holmes by Philip K Jones

Author:Philip K Jones
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Sherlock Holmes, mystery, crime, british crime, sherlock holmes short fiction, sherlock Holmes Humor, sherlock holmes humour
ISBN: 9781780920450
Publisher: Andrews UK Limited 2012
Published: 2012-11-21T00:00:00+00:00

“You have done all you can, Mrs. Beecham. Permit me and Dr. Watson to look into the matter.” Our client left, and Holmes and I hastened to the address of the tuner, which she had provided.

“Mr. Oppernokety?” Holmes queried.

“I understand that you recently tuned a piano for a Mrs. Beecham, that she is unsatisfied with the job, and that you steadfastly refused to retune the instrument to her liking. Is that correct?”

“Yes, it is.”

“And would you be so kind as to explain the reason for your refusal?”

“Certainly. As everyone knows, sir, Oppernokety only tunes once.”

This was written by “The Rascally Lascar.”

This was first published in Plugs & Dottles, Issue #84, September, 1985.

It was later published on the Hounds of the Internet List on January 29th, 2005.

In Retirement [SHPUN069]

I had called upon my friend Sherlock Holmes at his retirement cottage on the South Downs early in the year 1912, and found him engaged in a heated discussion with a rugged faced chap who I later learned was a brick layer named Timothy Rooden. The discussion soon ended with Rooden leaving in a huff and muttering under his breath.

“What was that all about?” I asked my friend.

“Rooden has just completed building that little brick structure to your right in which I plan to store my honey*. When I refused to pay him for the job he became rather nasty, and we came to words, as you have no doubt just heard.”

“Good Lord, Holmes,” I exclaimed, “I don’t blame the man for his anger. Why ever have you refused to pay him? You have always been a honourable person.”

“You don’t have all the facts, my dear fellow. I have checked into Mr. Rooden’s background, and have discovered he’s an active member of The United Grand Lodge of England.”

“What the devil does that have to do with you not paying him for the brick work?”

“Elementary, Watson-the man is obviously a Freemason!”

*The material made from nectar by bees....NOT some London East End bimbo.

This was written by “The Rascally Lascar.”

This was first published in Plugs & Dottles, Issue #89, February, 1986.

It was later published on the Hounds of the Internet List on January 31st, 2005.

The House Watcher [SHPUN070]

It was in the summer of ‘95 that Sherlock Homes was contacted by a Mr. Jonas Buster of London’s fashionable West End. Mr. Buster had become increasingly suspicious of a strange dark haired individual who, every day for three weeks, had stationed himself across the street from our client’s residence and then proceeded to stare intently at the house, some times for hours.

The case was not without interest to Holmes, and within a few days he had managed, by way of his many contacts, to identify the stranger as a Greek olive grower by the name of Aristotle Yutakis.

Wishing to see this mysterious person in the flesh, Holmes and I proceeded the next day from our Baker Street lodgings to the Buster residence on Park Lane. Sure enough, as we approached the address, there was our Greek friend staring intently at the residence of our client.

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