The Joint of No Return by Tom Sadira

Author:Tom Sadira [Sadira, Tom]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: HIFI Press
Published: 2018-04-01T07:00:00+00:00

8

“Wake up, son!” The Captain’s voice was gritty and rough. “Time to get up.”

Charlie slowly opened his eyes. He expected to be back in his sleeping bag, camping out on his no-name mountain, the light from his cheap wristwatch illuminating his ragged tent. Instead, the first thing he saw was the Captain leaning in close and blowing a stream of smoke directly into his face.

“Come on now, gotta get ready for our landing.” He puffed from a newly lit joint.

“Where’d my clothes go?” Charlie’s confused hands explored his body. His ripped jeans, brown hoodie, and dusty sneakers were gone. In their place was a seamless silver jumpsuit that spanned from his neck to his feet.

“I couldn’t take the stench any longer, son.” The Captain waved a hand in front of his nose. “What you were wearing was more dirt and shit than fabric. Mother whipped you up something new to wear for our mission. You should thank her.”

“Hey!” He ignored the Captain and sniffed the air. “That’s my Golden Ticket, man!”

“This? This fell outta your mouth when you passed out.” He offered the joint to Charlie. “I saved it till now so we could smoke it together. This could be the last joint either of us smoke, so relax and try to enjoy it, okay?”

Charlie snatched the joint and lifted it to his eyes. After a close visual examination, he ran it under his nose.

“This is the second joint from my test batch.” He took a hit and handed it back to the Captain. “You’re the only person other than me to have tried it. So what do you think, man?!”

The Captain rubbed his chin and studied Charlie from across their small cabin.

“I can see you take pride in your skills. Let me tell you something, son. For a few years now I’ve been Captain of a spaceship that’s powered by this stuff. I’ve smoked the dankest herb this side of the galaxy, and…” He paused, holding the doob out to his cabinmate. “I guess this ain’t too bad.”

“Ain’t too bad?” A frown shattered Charlie’s hopeful expression. He stole back the joint and popped it between his lips. “That’s all you have to say? Ain’t too bad?!”

The Captain shrugged and closed his eyes sleepily.

“Another thing…” Charlie pointed the smoky tip of the lit joint at the Captain. “Did you say I’m wearing this ridiculous space onesie for our mission? I thought you only needed me to get through the laser net. Then you planned on dropping me off at my campsite with my plants. Remember?”

“I agreed to return your plants when this is over,” the older man answered coolly. “I need your help with one more thing, so you’re coming with me. And before you ask, it’s an insane suicide mission. Our insane suicide mission. Shouldn’t take too long, one way or the other.”

“Suicide mission?” Charlie’s eyebrows leapt up his forehead.

“The good news for you is that if it all works out and the Starseed is freed, I’ll return your plants—and whatever’s left of you—back to your campsite.

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