The Football Fan's Manifesto by Michael Tunison

Author:Michael Tunison
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Humor, Topic - Sports, Miscellanea, Football, Sports & Recreation, Sports, Topic, American Satire And Humor, Football - General, General
ISBN: 9780061735141
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2009-08-18T06:43:53.751000+00:00

VI.2 Know Your Fantasy League or Know Draft Defeat

When diving headlong into the choppy waters of fantasy football, it helps to know that the act of drafting is an intricate science. Sure, for the uncommitted, there’s always the option of auto-drafting to your heart’s content and getting whacked on a weekly basis by every other owner in the league. Whatever works for you. Those who are ready to sack up do their homework. Every league wants a couple patsies to pony up entry money they have no chance of winning back.

Before even deciding on which format to enter into, you should know there’s no reason to ever get involved with a public league (unless it carries a mammoth prize, but even then you should supplement it with private leagues). What’s the point of fantasy triumph if it’s not something you can lord over someone you know? Someone like a friend or a coworker who has no choice but to absorb your vicious taunts with quiet resentment. You simply can’t get that satisfaction in a public league. And make a point not to sign up for any league that doesn’t offer head-to-head contests. League-wide rotisserie formats are the worst idea a group of people has entered into aside from cuddle parties. Even survivor leagues, where a team need only not be the lowest scoring team in its league to advance from week to week, don’t provide a sufficient rush. Fantasy football isn’t a war of attrition. It’s supposed to mirror the NFL itself by being a series of bitter duels to determine who gets to advance to meaningful bitter duels.

The type of league you join will dictate which type of draft you go through. It’s not only the draft that your choice affects; it has other long-term consequences as well, forcing you to select players with an eye toward more than just the immediate future. Matt Millen hates those.

There are generally two types of drafts: the normal kind and the incredibly involved kind that makes you focus on numbers and hurts your thinkin’ box in ways that have nothing to do with polluting it with booze.

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