The End of the Ocean by Maja Lunde

Author:Maja Lunde [Lunde, Maja]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Scribner UK

DAVID

Lou chewed and swallowed. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

She chewed quickly and swallowed even more quickly. Couldn’t get enough. We were sitting in the mess hall. For the first time she was strong enough to accompany me here. She woke up bright and early because she was hungry and we had made it here before the rush. The tables and benches around us were still empty and the temperature was tolerable.

“Is there any more?” she asked when the dish was empty.

She’d had most of my bread, too.

“I’ll go ask,” I said.

Even though I knew this was all we would get.

At that moment Francis came over. He must have heard our conversation, because now he handed her another piece of bread and sat down with us.

“Thank you,” I said, because Lou was too busy eating.

*

“Come on, let’s go,” I said when she was finally finished.

“Where?”

“To the Red Cross.”

She stretched out her feet in front of her, looked at them and not at me. “I don’t need to.”

“Yes. You need to. We haven’t been there in four days.”

“There’s just a long line, nothing else.”

“She can stay with me,” Francis said.

“Yes, I can,” Lou said. “I can stay with Francis.”

“No,” I said. “You have to come with me. Imagine if they’ve arrived.”

“They haven’t,” Lou said. “You heard what the lady said. They’ll let us know if Mommy comes.”

“We’re going now,” I said.

“No,” she said and lifted her head.

She stared at me, eyes shining.

She was really well again. I had nothing to offer in response to that no.

So I went. Alone. Angry and pleased at the same time.

I couldn’t remember the last time I was alone, just walking like this, without holding Lou’s hand. I opened and closed my fingers.

I was able to breathe again. She was fine. I had managed it. Taken care of her, brought her through the crisis. Without Anna.

Without Anna. My heart started pounding even harder.

Today, today they’ve learned something, today they’ve made contact. Found them. Today Jeanette will have good news.

But when I entered the barracks, it wasn’t Jeanette who was sitting behind the desk. It was a man I’d never seen before.

He didn’t even look up.

“There’s nothing new here,” he said to the screen.

“But you don’t know who I’m looking for.”

“There’s been no contact with anyone since yesterday and no new arrivals have registered. You’ll have to wait for a few days.”

“But many days have passed since the last time I was here. Where is the woman who’s usually here, Jeanette? She knows my case.”

“She left,” he said. “Replaced.”

“Why is that?”

He didn’t reply, taking a cookie from a can under the desk instead.

“Sorry,” he said as he crunched away. “Need something to keep me going. Half rations for us as well.”

I walked outside again. By the entrance there was an overflowing garbage can. It stunk in the heat. I turned around. A wire supporting the tent in front of me had come loose, the canvas was hanging askew. And a little further down along the row someone had painted slogans on a barracks wall.

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