The Completionist by Siobhan Adcock

Author:Siobhan Adcock
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster

GARDNER QUINN

2556 ASHLAND NORTH, APT. B

NEW CHICAGO 0606030301

NEW STATES

PFC C. P. QUINN 2276766

MCC 167 1ST MAW

FPO NEW CHICAGO 06040309

June 3, 6:45 a.m.

Hi, CQ.

This is going to sound weird. But I just found out something I kind of can’t believe. And I’m so happy right now I could sort of almost die of it. You ever feel that way?

I feel like life is coming together around something unexpected. I didn’t think anything really unexpected could ever happen to us, to our family, not being who we are and living in the world we do, but it is, it’s happening, something miraculous is happening. Is going to happen. Is happening now. Now!

I am getting waaaaay ahead of myself. I’m sorry I can’t explain what I mean, or why I’m so excited and happy right now, but I am, and I guess the first person I wanted to tell was you. YOU. You know why? Because you’re my little brother and I love you, you nut. How do you like that? Ha!

But being so happy you could die of it. Let’s unpack that. Shall we? Because what I’m learning is that it’s real; it’s a real feeling; like I’m so happy, I could accidentally step in front of a driverless because I’m not— Oh, that is not the right way to put it, not at all, oh my God. Only you and Fred would understand why I am laughing so hard right now. And it’s not funny! It’s not. It’s sad, what I just started to say—oh my God. [laughter, laughter, laughter]

I’m sorry. Okay. I got it. I got this. [hee-hee-hee, gasping]

Listen. Okay? Good things are happening. Good things are going to happen again. I want you to know that. I hope you will be kept going by that thought. It’s keeping me going right now, it’s like the sun rising and rising and rising all over again. It’s almost making me feel like all this—the collapse, the crisis, the Wars—it could end. We could come back from this! Humanity! Isn’t that a crazy thought? I admit it, I wrote us off. The whole species! The world! All of it! But now . . .

I wrote us off when our mom died, CQ. I decided the whole world was a pile of . . . of crap, and the only thing to do was to work on saving the pieces of it that I could, and I live my whole life by that idea, I do, but I never, I never, I never really believed in myself, or believed that anything could really get better. I don’t know if I ever told you this. I don’t know if I ever said this to anybody, not even Fred. But I’ve been a fraud, honey. I’ve been working on helping people as best I could, I guess, and I go to protests and try to be a right-thinking activist and whatever, forgive me, I hope you can, but I—it never seemed like I could really change anything, it was just better than doing nothing.

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