Stories From The Middle Seat by R.F. Hemphill

Author:R.F. Hemphill
Language: eng
Format: mobi
ISBN: 9780991298532
Publisher: Strelitzia Ventures
Published: 2015-12-20T14:00:00+00:00

It Is Possible to Know Too Much

Andres, our very smart and capable COO, and I were sitting around his office, looking out the window at the view of a very similar office building to ours, just across the street. Of course, we could have been in the CEO’s office, in which case we would have had an excellent view of a used car lot. Andres was mildly complaining about all the problems of leading our businesses in Latin America, where there is a decided leftist/populist swing in the political leadership emerging—Lula in Brazil, Kirchner defaulting on Argentina’s debt, Chavez running around with the demonstrators when Bush attended the Summit of the Americas in Buenos Aires, etc. The newest problem, he said, is the recent election of Evo Morales, the radical Indian leader in Bolivia.

“Yeah,” I answered, “unless you’re Bloomingdale’s.”

“Huh?” Andres responded acutely.

“Well, he wears that damn sweater everywhere and now people want to buy a copy. Probably just New York liberals and Hilary Clinton, of course.”

“You know what his campaign slogan was?” Andres asked me.

“No, what?”

“‘I want to be President Bush’s worst nightmare.’”

“Well, given that Bolivia is the poorest country in South America, and only has a bunch of natural gas and some coca growers as its natural resource base, and thanks to the Chileans has no seaport or access to the ocean, I don’t see what he can do that’s annoying. Maybe he gets mad at the US and cuts off the gas to Brazil? ‘Take that, President Bush!’” I thought about it some more. “Besides,” I said, “I think he’s too late.”

“Too late for what?” asked Andres, who seemed to be rapidly losing interest in the conversation.

“Well, I actually think that Bush’s worst nightmare could be Kim Il-sung in North Korea, or if not that, then Chavez certainly has a claim for ‘worst nightmare.’ And then, there’s that newcomer in Iran coming on strong, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who, by the way, definitely gets the prize for most unpronounceable name, and doesn’t believe in either the Holocaust or in Israel’s right to exist, and probably really is working on a nuclear weapon and may be crazy enough to use it.”

“So you’re saying …”

“Right, I’d argue that the best that Morales can do is be Bush’s fourth worst nightmare— all the top slots are already taken.”

He nodded, looked out the window, and started shuffling the papers on his desk.

“Wait, there’s more. Did you know that Evo Morales has a twin brother who moved to Japan and became an innovator in the field of consumer electronics?”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Yes, he’s the well-known Bolivio-Japanese inventor, TiVo Morale …”

“Get out of my office,” Andres responded cheerfully.

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