Starborn and Godsons by Niven Larry & Pournelle Jerry & Barnes Steven

Author:Niven, Larry & Pournelle, Jerry & Barnes, Steven [Niven, Larry & Pournelle, Jerry & Barnes, Steven]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Action & Adventure, Adventure, Fiction, Science Fiction, Alien Contact, Space Exploration
ISBN: 9781982124489
Google: cHejxgEACAAJ
Amazon: 1982124482
Goodreads: 49895951
Publisher: Baen
Published: 2020-04-07T07:00:00+00:00

♦ ChaptEr 25 ♦

retrospect

Cadmann’s Bluff was Cadzie’s second home, and he knew that soon it would feel much less that way. His grandmother was noticeably weaker today, walked as if her joints were nerve-bundles rubbing against each other with every step. Had she always seemed to catch her breath when standing or sitting? Perhaps he was merely seeing her with clearer eyes.

“You took a terrible chance,” Sylvia said. She was simultaneously working on her latest canvas and watching her new house guest: Billy the Kid. The luckiest goat in the world was nosing around her vegetable garden. Cadzie had promised to build a fence, and knew he’d have to make good on that promise, or Sylvia might try out some new recipes.

“It was worth it. Mom, you don’t know what it was like.”

“I’ve seen the video,” she said, adding a dab of color to her canvas.

“Not the same thing.”

“Then tell me.”

He paused, thinking. “I wasn’t alive for the Grendel Wars. And I can’t say I know what that was like. We have the videos, and I suppose we understand it that way.” Another dab. “We thought we’d all die,” she said.

“Yes. I’m not saying what happened to us was as bad. Or worse. But it was different.”

“Different how?”

“You had another . . frame of reference. You remember Earth. A place where there were no speed monsters. Where it was so boring you traveled across the stars to find adventure.”

“It wasn’t quite like that.” Her chuckle was directed at the canvas.

“But close enough?”

“All right,” she said. “Close enough.”

“We . . grew up in the shadow of those gargoyles. They are . . were our boogeymen. There hasn’t been a day I’ve not thought about them. You created an entire clan to program us, implant programs in our unconscious to keep us alive. The nightmares . . .”

“I’m sorry.” She looked tired. “We just wanted to keep you alive.”

“And we love you for that. But what you don’t see is that all my life, there’s been a small, frightened place inside me. That little core of my humanity you programmed from the cradle to be ready to kill or die. It was for my good . . for our own good . . but it was in there, and it poisoned me, just a little.”

“Cadzie . . .” she began.

He raised his hand, begging room to finish his thoughts. “It’s okay. It’s all changed. For the first time in my life . . I’m not afraid of grendels. I went face to face with one . . hell, toe to toe. And tore it to pieces.” He paused, mentally chewing at something. And then came to a decision. “There’s something I’ve never told you.”

“What?”

“I dream about grendels. A lot of Scouts do. Sometimes we shoot them in time. Sometimes not.”

“Dear God.” She almost dropped her brush.

He barely noticed, already switching out of emotions and into a logical mode. “I think it’s part of some mental subroutine designed to keep our hindbrains sharp.”

“Cadzie, we never .

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