Searching for Stardust by Lorena McCourtney

Author:Lorena McCourtney [McCourtney, Lorena]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Rogue Ridge Press
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 13

Jan gasped. "Stardust, you can't mean that!"

"I don't do abortions." Dr. Addington sounded taken aback by Stardust's harsh statement. "And at this point, I surely don't think you should even consider—"

Stardust cut him off. "I'm getting an abortion."

"Then you'll have to go elsewhere." For a moment Jan thought he was going to stalk out of the room. Instead, he leaned forward, the formal stiffness of his voice changing to a personal plea filled with urgency. "Stardust, you're right at twenty-five weeks—"

Stardust glared at both of them. "I don't care what either of you think or how far along I am. I want an abortion. I can't raise a baby that's all weird looking and retarded."

"Stardust, even if there are some problems, you won't be raising the baby alone! We'll do it together. I'll be right with you."

"No. I'm not going to have a baby that people stare at and make fun of."

Jan's mind raced frantically, searching for any delaying tactic. "At least have the amniocentesis to tell for certain about the Down syndrome."

"No. It doesn't matter. Even if it doesn't have that, there's something wrong with its heart. And I don't want it if it's like that. I want a baby that's beautiful and healthy."

With a sinking heart Jan realized that Stardust, in little more than a handful of heartbeats, had degraded the baby to an impersonal, disposable "it."

"You don't need to look at me like I'm some kind of monster," Stardust snapped. "Millions of women have abortions. It's no big deal."

"Stardust, you can't do this, you just can't. It doesn't matter if she isn't perfect—"

"It matters to me. And I can do this. I'm going to get an abortion." Stardust targeted the doctor with her newly hardened gaze. "All I want is for you to tell me where to go."

Jan just stared at her, feeling helpless and puzzled and appalled, unable to connect this ugly, callous attitude with the sweet girl so concerned about her baby just a few days ago. Had she instantly changed? Or had that sweet girl been an illusion, someone who never really existed?

"I seriously recommend that you think about this for a few days," Dr. Addington said, his stiffness returning. "I'd also suggest counseling. I can give you the name—"

"I don’t need counseling," Stardust said scornfully. "I know what I want. An abortion."

"I'll have the nurse give you some names, then."

By the time they were back in the car, the day had turned overcast and dreary, and an unseasonably chilly rain blurred the windshield. On the way home, waves of arguments raced through Jan's head as she frantically searched for the words that would persuade Stardust to change her mind. But at the house, before Jan had a chance to say anything, Stardust marched to the phone book and started searching the pages for the organizations and offices Dr. Addington's nurse had reluctantly provided. When she reached for the cordless phone, Jan jumped up and grabbed the instrument before Stardust could reach it.

"Please, Stardust, let's think about this.

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