Odd Girl Out by Ann Bannon

Author:Ann Bannon
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Lesbian, Fiction
ISBN: 9781936456192
Publisher: Cleis Press
Published: 1975-01-01T22:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER ELEVEN

LAURA LOOKED FOR Beth all afternoon. She looked for her at dinner. And when she went up to her room she felt lethargic and sad. Emily came up at seven and found her sitting in the butterfly chair, staring at a book.

Emily saw that Laura was worried, and she thought she knew why. Laura had a crush on Charlie and so Emmy hesitated to say anything. She just waited until Laura couldn't stand it any longer and said, “Laura, do you know where Beth is?"

"Well, I—she was out with Charlie this afternoon.” Laura looked so unhappy that Emmy pulled the desk chair over to the butterfly and sat down.

"It didn't mean a thing, Laur, really. She'll tell you that herself when she gets in."

"Is she still with him? You mean she's been with him all this time?"

"Well, she—they dropped down to Maxie's to hear the music this afternoon.” Emmy watched sympathetically as Laura's face fell. “Charlie was there earlier, Laur. Before he met Beth. He loves jazz, you know. I guess he just decided to bring Beth along. They really were good this afternoon.” Laura's face was pale and hard. She said nothing. “Beth likes jazz too, you know,” Emmy added, afraid of the silence.

"Yes, I know!"

"Laur, you mustn't take it so hard.” Emmy reached out and put a hand on Laura's shoulder, but Laura shook it off and her nails pressed cruelly into her brow and scalp, trying to cut out the hurt they could never touch.

Emmy sat beside her in silence, miserable because she couldn't help. “Laur,” she said. Her voice was all she could offer. Laura couldn't very well stop her ears. “Laur, please don't cry. She'll be home in a little while. She'll explain it to you, I know she will. Laur ... there there, Laur, honey. Please don't—"

Laura stood up, suddenly furious, and turned on Emily.

"Don't call me honey! Don't call me that! I hate that word. Emmy, do you hear me?"

"Yes, I hear,” said Emily in a whisper.

Laura sank back to the chair, frightened with her temper, her hurt, her jealousy. “Emmy,” she said. “I'm sorry. You mustn't pay any attention to me."

"I didn't know you liked him that much, Laur."

"Oh, I don't. I mean, not really. Oh, I don't know what I mean; I can't explain. Please, Emmy..."

They sat in silence for a minute and then Emmy said, “Maybe you'd like to be alone for a little while."

Laura didn't answer. She was thankful, but too eager to be rid of Emily for graceful gratitude. When Emmy left she sat perfectly still with her lips tight and her eyes full, and had a talk with herself. She began to see that for all her tolerant teasing and tenderness, Beth simply didn't like her jealousy. And she knew Beth would expect a vindictive temper and tears and recriminations when she got home. Laura faced facts; her good sense was born of desperation. She couldn't swear off her jealousy, but she could tuck it under her love and hope it would smother.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.