My Uncle Died & All I Got Was This Robot Island by Graham Reinbold

Author:Graham Reinbold [Reinbold, Graham]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2022-09-15T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter Fifteen

“Reggie and Reggie!” I screamed after the mole people helped me off the metal table and into their little tunnel. Waiting for us below were two healthy looking Reggies beaming back at me. At least I thought they were. It was pretty much pitch dark down there, and I was still soaring high on whatever the guy had injected me with.

“When the terrible downpour started, we ran for cover. The two of us were the only survivors,” one of the Reggies said, patting me on the back with a canon shaped arm.

“When the rain cleared, we used our sensors to track you down and made a call to these mole-men here.”

“We prefer mole people,” one mole person said.

“And the mole people just helped you for free?” I asked. If there was one thing I was learning about politics, it’s that there’s no such thing as a free lunch. Unless you inherit that lunch from your dead uncle, or the president of Algeria makes it for you while Kang Ji-Ho watches from behind some fake artwork.

“No sire, not exactly …” one said, and I groaned.

“What did you have to promise them?” I asked.

“It was our only hope of saving you, sire!” pleaded the other robot before I could get an answer.

“What was the payment?” I asked again.

“All of your territory in this region,” one Reggie answered after a brief pause.

“You’re telling me that Southern Italy is now ruled by a mole person?”

“We’re actually thinking of forming a republic, so the leadership would be more collective,” a mole person informed me before we started heading down the dark, dirty tunnel. We eventually came out onto a beach, and the mole people waved and thanked me for the big chunk of Europe. I looked at my two remaining Reggies. I was kind of bummed since now the total population of the Kingdom of Shuffleskin was down to three, and two thirds of us were robots.

“Sire, I suggest we get back to our island before Interpol catches up with us,” one of the Reggies said, and I nodded.

“What about that cruise ship we came here in?” I asked, but they just shook their heads.

“Too obvious,” one of them answered, and I knew he was right.

“Guess we’re back to rafts and ponchos,” I said before ordering one to make them and the other to give me a back massage on the sand. Pretty soon we were casting off on our rickety rafts, and Southern Italy was just a blip fading away in the distance. I wasn’t in the best mood. I had just lost something I’d worked hard to win in a poker game, and I doubted I’d be invited back to another G7 meeting. Then I remembered how the guy in black told me all the world leaders thought I was a total idiot. It was enough to make a guy angry.

When I had decided I was going to take over the world, I wanted to do it in a kind of friendly way.

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