Maybe This Will Help by Michelle Rial

Author:Michelle Rial [Rial, Michelle]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Chronicle Books LLC
Published: 2021-06-15T00:00:00+00:00

It Hurts to Write This, but Don’t Worry

A TRANSCRIPT OF MY IMAGINARY VIRTUAL CHRONIC PAIN WORKSHOP

Today I’m going to teach you how to achieve your goals and manifest success when you have chronic p—

but first I’m going to need to move my laptop to my ergonomic desk setup—

but first it might help to stretch my rhomboids for thirty seconds—

Ah, my Pomodoro timer just went off! Can’t work for more than twenty-five minutes at a time or I will regret it—sorry, hold on

So I’m using this new standing desk that is supposed to [clanking noises] help.

Actually, have we talked about how my foot got run over by a car as a child? It starts to hurt sometimes, so maybe I’ll sit.

It was a Jeep Grand Cherokee. The weight equivalent of three hundred bowling balls standing on my foot in the middle school carpool, but it’s mostly fine, don’t worry!

Hold on… lowering….

OK, desk chair time!!!! Soooo ergonomic.

Hmm, my tailbone………. (I fell on my tailbone super hard, but, like, twenty years ago)

These things never heal, which is why that one doctor said there’s a very high chance I have chronic Lyme! We’ll get to that later!

Sorry, where was I?

I might actually try sitting on the couch again—

maybe if I write this on paper—

hold on, I have to connect my Bluetooth keyboard—

I know it looks like I’m Ariel coming up onto the rock discovering the human world, but I’m just trying to get a slight crackle out of this one upper rib so I can have ten seconds of SWEET TEMPORARY PEACE.

I might grab the Thera Cane, one sec.

Going to lie on the floor for a moment, but after that I’m all yours!!

Actually, I’m gonna grab some ice, so let’s chat about this later. Same time next week?

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