Leading with GRIT: Inspiring Action and Accountability with Generosity, Respect, Integrity, and Truth by Laurie Sudbrink

Author:Laurie Sudbrink
Language: eng
Format: mobi
ISBN: 9781118975626
Publisher: Wiley
Published: 2015-03-08T14:00:00+00:00

Changing habits begins with awareness, and desire is what gets you motivated. The desire is your want to; it's your passion, purpose, and commitment. It's your why or your driving force, and it comes from your heart. Without desire, change won't happen, and/or it won't last.

Once you're aware, you can then look at your motivation to make a change. You can objectively look at what it will be like if you don't make the change and what it will be like if you do make the change, rather than take it personally and get defensive about it. Is it worth it to you to make the change? Does it align with your purpose, priorities, and passions? Do you really want the change? It reminds me of that country song that says, “How bad do you want it?”

People are motivated by either pain or pleasure. Consider the person whose pants were snug. She could choose to visualize how great she will feel when she's wearing those pants again, how much energy she'll have, and how happy she'll be, or she might be more motivated by thinking about how sluggish and terrible she'll feel if she doesn't do anything and how much money she'll have to spend on new and bigger clothes. Either choice is a consequence, and if we're aware and truthful with ourselves, we'll know which motivates us.

While we're learning new things, we need to be aware of how we are reacting to the change. Are we resisting by complaining and not enjoying the growth at all, or are we embracing it by enjoying the progress we are making? Which do you think is more effective—and definitely more efficient? We learn, grow, and change faster when we believe in it, when we're aware of how we feel about it, and when we choose it because we understand the value. Not when someone else tries to force us to change.

Have you ever tried getting someone else to change? It doesn't usually turn out well, does it? Just think about a time when someone was trying to change you. Until you saw the benefit of making the change, you probably resisted or made a surface change to pacify the person—but it wasn't a genuine or lasting change. People change only when they decide to make the change themselves. We can demand, bribe, or threaten, and sometimes people do change, for a short time, but you can almost guarantee that they are holding resentment, which will cause them to sabotage themselves or revert back to the original behavior. When you're not looking, they're probably doing what they supposedly changed, complaining about you, or doing personal things because they're just not vested in it.

Should we give up on other people then? If you can't change them, I mean? Just because we cannot change people doesn't mean we cannot provide opportunities for awareness and help them see what's in it for them to change. Then it is their choice. And we need to respect their choice.

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