Leading at the Edge by Dennis N. T. Perkins

Author:Dennis N. T. Perkins
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: AMACOM Books
Published: 2012-03-08T16:00:00+00:00

Lessons for Leaders

Conflict is a pervasive element in any organization, particularly in those that press their performance limits. The challenge is not how to eliminate conflicts but, rather, how to manage them in productive ways that strengthen bonds among team members.

Ironically, the emphasis on teamwork in today’s corporate culture can serve to drive conflicts underground. In this subterranean state, unresolved issues become latent sources of tension. How often, for example, have you attended a “polite” meeting that ended with smiling faces—only to hear subsequent hallway and restroom discussions about the “real” issues? Or seen deep differences of opinion devolve into a lukewarm compromise that no one truly supports?

There are several reasons why conflict, anger, and negative feelings need to be dealt with directly and in small doses. First, conflict not expressed means that problems are not being confronted. Second, conflict not expressed directly surfaces in other, nonproductive ways. Unnecessary arguments erupt over peripheral issues, and team members sabotage others in subtle and not-so-subtle ways. Finally, as in survival situations, conflict not expressed and resolved can escalate out of control, with disastrous business consequences.

In spite of the importance of managing conflict, being proactive about dealing with disagreements can be difficult for many leaders. In an honest but misguided desire to promote harmony, otherwise skillful executives avoid the tough issues or fail to create a climate in which conflict is freely expressed.

Perhaps the first step in promoting healthy conflict is to understand—and really to internalize—that conflict and caring are not mutually exclusive. The extraordinary example of Shackleton’s crewmembers sharing their milk in the middle of a heated argument makes this point vividly.

The second step in dealing with conflict is to create an effective process that encourages team members to surface their differences and to identify those lurking problems that need to be addressed. An approach that I have found quite effective for this purpose comes from an unusual source.

Some years ago, when I first began to work with senior leadership teams, I encountered a great deal of difficulty and frustration in getting executive teams to confront sensitive issues, and that affected their performance. At the time, I was teaching a course at Yale in which I used a “family systems model” as a lens for looking at the dynamics of organizations.

With this approach, I analyzed organizations as if they were families to see what insights this perspective might generate. I understood that organizations were not really families, but I thought this metaphor might provide a fresh perspective on organizational dynamics. I also thought it might help explain the persistence of organizational problems that defied rational analysis. After all, no one expects families to be rational!

One aspect of the family systems theory that proved to be particularly valuable was the notion of the “family secret.” Family secrets are emotionally charged, taboo topics. In family life, they often center on drug or alcohol dependencies, marital difficulties, and personal idiosyncrasies of various kinds. Most family members are aware of the “secrets,” but these forbidden subjects are never openly discussed.

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