Last God Standing by Michael Boatman

Author:Michael Boatman [Boatman, Michael]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: comedy, fantasy, God of stand-up, Yahweh on stage, Lucifer on the loose, gods behaving badly, no joke
ISBN: 9780857663962
Publisher: Angry Robot
Published: 2014-03-24T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER XIV

YURI’S BIG DEAL

I spent twenty minutes threatening Moroni before I dismissed him. I wanted him to spread the word: future angelic rebellions would be dealt with severely. I gave him free rein to describe Seraphiel’s disintegration with as much drama as he deemed necessary. I couldn’t have asked for a better pitchman for my latest edict: Moroni would have the story spread across the planet before lunch.

By the time I stepped off the bus in front of the Soupbucket, I was ready for the easy distraction of a pitch meeting. My headache had abated, allowing me a moment to collect myself. But I was still shaky as I walked into the trendy restaurant, twenty minutes late, to find Yuri and three people I didn’t recognise sitting at a table. Yuri waved me over.

He pulled me in for a bro-hug and hissed in my ear. “Dude, I thought I was gonna have to cancel. Are you OK? You look like hell.”

“I’m fine.”

“Good. I’ll kill you later.”

Yuri turned to the man on his left. “Lando this is Jeff Corroder, President of Dream Lever Entertainment.”

Corroder stood up and grasped my hand in his large right hand. He was just over six feet tall, swarthy, round-shouldered and slumping toward fat.

“Master Cooper!” Corroder boomed. “Glad you could finally join us! I was ready to send out the cavalry.”

Corroder’s voice was comically high for a man of his size, a female bodybuilder’s sexless falsetto.

“No need,” I said. “I’m ready to…”

I finished my greeting on the floor. Suddenly I was looking up at three faces staring down at me in alarm.

“Oh my god, are you OK?”

“I’m OK.”

“Somebody get some water! Do you need a doctor?”

“I’m fine!”

Somebody helped me into a seat. Somebody else set a glass of water on the table in front of me. I picked up the glass and drained it in one long gulp.

“Dude?” Yuri said, worry scrawled all over his face.

“I’m OK. Just a little dehydrated.”

“Well good!” Corroder chirped. “Can’t have our main man doing his opening monologue from the emergency room.”

Everyone laughed. Yuri and Corroder laughed the longest.

“Anyway, Lando this is my new assistant, Mitsuko Leavenworth. She’ll be taking notes while we chew the fat.”

Mitsuko Leavenworth was beautiful, a tall JapaneseAmerican, about twenty-five years old. She wore efficient black slacks and black V-neck sweater with blue pinstriped shirt underneath. At her throat rested a gold pendant shaped to resemble twin serpents entwined about the Japanese character for good luck. Each of the serpents sported tiny emeralds for eyes. Leavenworth projected an aura of exacting precision. Her long black hair had been lashed into a bun so tight that looking at it made my temples throb.

“Hello, Lando. It’s a pleasure to meet you. And I’m not exactly ‘new’, anymore, Jeff.”

Corroder smacked his forehead. “Sorry. Mitsuko worked her way up through the company. She was in Feature Development with Yuri before I dragged her into TV Purgatory. Hey, speaking of Yuri, I’ve seen so much of your stuff lately I feel like I can recite your act by heart!”

Yuri grinned.

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