Kneller's Happy Campers by Etgar Keret

Author:Etgar Keret
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: novella, fiction
Published: 2010-02-20T23:00:00+00:00

chapter fifteen

in which Kneller extends lots of hospitality and a little paranoia, and explains why his house isn't really a camp

After Uzi'd calmed down a little, we checked out the car and saw it was totalled. Kneller was shaken up 'cause of what happened and 'cause it was all his fault. He said he wanted us to come and crash at his place anyway. He didn't stop blabbering the whole way, and every step he took, his body went all over the place like he was trying to go in several directions at the same time and couldn't make up his mind. One thing's for sure, he looked completely crazy, this Kneller, but harmless. He even smelled kinda fresh and innocent, like a baby's bottom. I couldn't picture a guy like that offing himself.

'I'm not usually out at this hour, but I was looking for my dog, Freddie. He's lost. D'you see him by any chance? It's just that suddenly all the peace and quiet around here started really getting to me. Well, what d'you expect? Everyone likes to veg out in the woods, know what I mean, in the great outdoors and everything.' Kneller tried to explain, waving his arms around a lot.

'But why that way? Why in the middle of the fucking road, dammit? I mean it's fucking irresponsible, if you ask me.'

'Too many recreational drugs, I guess,' he winked at us, and when he saw that Uzi was still really pissed off and looking pretty peeved, he added quickly: 'Metaphorically, I mean. Nobody really does drugs around here.'

Kneller's house looked just like those stupid little houses we used to draw in kindergarten, with a red roof and a chimney, a green tree in the garden and a yellowish light in the windows. There was an enormous sign over the doorway, with FOR RENT on it in big bold letters, and KNELLER'S HAPPY CAMPERS scribbled in blue paint right over that. Kneller told us that the house wasn't really for rent, or actually, that it used to be for rent once but that then Kneller came along and rented it, and it isn't like he even runs a camp. It's just a joke, not a very funny one, that a friend of his made up. This friend used to live with him for a long time, and he thought because of all the company that kept coming and all the fun stuff that Kneller used to set up for them, that this place was kind of like a camp.

'Wait till they see the ice cream,' he smiled, and he pointed to the container that Leehee was holding. 'They'll freak out.'

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.