In the Dark I See You by Mallika Narayanan

Author:Mallika Narayanan [Mallika Narayanan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Union Square & Co.
Published: 2023-10-24T00:00:00+00:00

“You don’t have the right clothes,” Sarah proclaims. She’s invaded my bedroom again, browsing my closet, and, I suspect from her tone, with disgust.

“It’s only a birthday party,” I say. I hate the defensive edge that’s crept into my voice. “I’m sure a pair of jeans and a nice top will work.”

“You can’t see, but I’m glaring at you right now. A top and a pair of jeans? You’re not going to the mall. This is a party.”

I know what’s got her back up. It’s because I’m invited to a party when she isn’t. Everyone from our row as well as a few from the back row have been invited. Everyone except for Sarah is going to be there.

From the sudden warmth that bathes me, I imagine she’s switched on all the lights in my master bedroom. I hear rustling. She’s choosing between outfits, pulling off their plastic dry-clean covering. Nearby, Nicole’s soft, sated breathing is a comforting rhythm. I imagine her little face, scrunched up in sleep, lips pursed into a pout.

“I do have dresses.”

“Yes. I’ve seen them.” She laughs a little unkindly. “Mine are better. Like this one. It’s a pretty salmon pink. It’ll look great with your hair.” Her flat pumps slap the wood floor of my bedroom with a thwack like she’s turning on a ramp walk. She’s parading them for me, which is silly, not because I can’t see but because I’d look ridiculous in her clothes.

“And this,” she says, walking toward me again, “is a deep red.”

I run a mental price check on the dresses, the shoes, and the makeup as she rattles off designer names. I imagine her whipping out credit cards and swiping with absolute abandon.

“Never mind,” she says. “The red won’t go with your coloring. You’re too pale.”

“It’s winter.”

“I’ll have to bronze you up a bit,” she says, ignoring my weak protest.

It’s a waste of time. These clothes, her clothes—all this tight, clingy stuff—are not made for my body. I tell her that I like my cardigans and sweatshirts, but she rolls her eyes at me again, I know; I can picture her doing it.

She gasps, startling me. “This is the one. It’s jewel-tone green. It’ll bring out the jade in your eyes and complement your lovely dark hair. It’ll pair well with my black wedge,” she adds.

Sarah and I take the same size in shoes. She insists we’re the same dress size, too, but I suspect I’m one size bigger. Jason thinks so. He’s trying to mold me into Sarah’s image.

Today he said he wants me to build my triceps like Sarah’s. Last week, he singled out my abs. “Your first rib bone is too low and juts out a bit,” he said, poking into my bone, making me giggle. “Hers is kinda high, you know? It sits right under her breast. It makes it easier to arch into the waist.”

“So rude of my rib to stick out. Maybe I should have it removed,” I said, hiding a smirk.

“Yeah, right,” he said, agreeing with me at first, then hesitating.

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