Hemlock by Kathleen Peacock

Author:Kathleen Peacock
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub, pdf
Tags: Speculative Fiction
ISBN: 9780062048653
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2012-01-01T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter 19

I SHOOK MY HEAD. “KYLE, THAT DIDN’T HAVE ANYTHING to do with it.”

Kyle wiped his palms on his jeans, like there was dirt on his hands he was trying to brush off. “I saw the way you looked at me afterward, Mac. Like I was dangerous and you finally got it. Like Heather made you finally understand what I am.” He glanced away. “I wanted you to understand—I was worried you were in some kind of denial about the whole thing—I just didn’t expect it would hurt so much when you did finally get it.”

My throat went dry and my pulse pounded too loudly and too fast. It was true. I had looked at Kyle and seen, for an instant, Heather—Heather as she crouched and prepared to rip my throat out—but Kyle was nothing like her and I knew that. I’d just been shaken and frightened and not thinking straight.

I opened my mouth to explain, but he cut me off. “Anything you say right now is going to be a lie.”

He closed his eyes for a handful of heartbeats. When he opened them, it was like someone had kicked dirt over the fire that had been raging. “Things have to go back to the way they were between us. I’m going to stay just long enough for us to resolve things with Amy—either until we find something or give up—but after that, I’m gone. Until then, things have to stay platonic. It’s better for both of us.”

I let out a choked, skeptical laugh. “We can’t just go back to the way things were. We can’t pretend nothing’s happened.” There were cigarette burns on the carpet and I scuffed at them with the edge of my Skechers as I let out a deep, shaky breath. “I’m sorry for the way I acted after Heather. I was freaked out.” I looked up and met his eyes. “But that doesn’t mean I want to go back to the way things were. Even if I thought it was best—which I don’t—I couldn’t. I can’t just hide how I feel, like there’s a faucet I can turn on and off.”

“Why not?” asked Kyle, his voice sharp, like a piece of wood snapping under too much weight. “I’ve been doing it for years.”

“And whose fault is that?” I tossed back, suddenly defensive. He couldn’t choose to keep his feelings secret and then blame me for the pain it caused. “If you had told me how you felt two years ago, then maybe none of this would be happening right now.”

Kyle looked as though he had been struck.

For a split second, I felt a horrible sense of satisfaction, but then it was gone and I somehow felt worse. “I’m sorry. I just . . .” I swallowed. “What if I don’t give up? What if we go through everything in the police report and I still keep going? Will you stay?”

Kyle grabbed his backpack from the floor and slung it over his shoulder. “If we get

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