Heartless by Sybil Bartel
Author:Sybil Bartel [Bartel, Sybil]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: The Alpha Bodyguard Series
Publisher: Sybil Bartel
Published: 2020-03-14T16:00:00+00:00
STARING AT HER ON HER knees, I didnât want to absorb any blame.
I didnât want to admit I hadnât taken her virginity because I was protecting her.
That promise Iâd made to her grandmother wasnât for her.
It was for me.
Iâd been stalling.
I knew who I was back then as sure as I knew it now. If Iâd taken her virginity that night, I wouldâve stripped her innocence and broken her with my demands. She wouldâve been left reeling when I deployed the next day, and I wouldnât have been able to guarantee sheâd be waiting for me when I came home. Iâd selfishly wanted to make her my wife before I introduced her to my dominance.
I didnât psychoanalyze why the fuck I needed to dominate. I just did. But Iâd been losing the power exchange with her, even back then. The second that video went viral, Iâd lost controlâof her, of the situation, and of my future. Joining the Marines was the best decision Iâd ever made, but it also took away my control. Which had only made my need for her worse.
Logically it was easy to understand why sheâd wanted Vance to be me, but I wasnât a forgiving man.
âLife is war.â Iâd fought for every damn thing in it. Except maybe I hadnât fought hard enough for her. Her eyes, her curves, her smooth skin, the submissive pose, I wanted to fuck her so bad right now I could taste the dominance coursing through my veins.
But I didnât deserve her.
Maybe I never had, and fate had made the hard decision Iâd refused to.
âLife is a gift,â she corrected as she regally knelt at my feet and mocked my entire fucking existence.
But even that didnât stop me from wanting to wrap my hand in her hair and pull until her head was back, her neck was exposed, and she was breathless just from that single touch. I wanted to push her to the edge and dominate the fuck out of her.
With my mouth, my hands.
Then I wanted to fuck her harder than any sparring session with my brother sheâd ever experienced. I wanted to show her she didnât need him or that bullshit he fed her disguised as control. He was sparring with her because he wanted it. He wasnât giving her what she really needed.
But I could.
I could give my Songbird everything.
Except right now I needed to ask her about Abernathy and what she and Vance knew, if Amherst was a liability anymore. I also needed to check in with Luna and Harm. I needed to do my damn job.
But I fucking stood here.
âDonât look at me like that,â she whispered.
âLike what?â It wasnât a question. It was a test.
Quieter, lower, her voice dipped to submissive. âLike you want me.â She dropped her gaze. âLike you want to touch me.â
Shoving my hands in my pockets so I didnât wrap them around her throat, I leaned down and let my breath touch her ear. âI donât want to touch you.â
She sucked in a sharp breath.
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