Frozen Teardrop by Lucinda Ruh

Author:Lucinda Ruh
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: eBook ISBN| 9781590702322
Publisher: SelectBooks, Inc.
Published: 2011-11-22T16:00:00+00:00

9

Unknown to Known

(ZURICH)

A short day of sorrow lasts longer than a long month of happiness.

With sadness tucked away firmly in our hearts, by the end of December of 1998 we said our goodbyes to our Chinese life. We felt like gypsies, nomads roaming from one place to the next. Goodbyes are not easy and we weren’t getting any better at them. Hiding our emotions we thanked everyone and were on our way to the airport. Since we could not take all our belongings back with us at once, we decided to leave some suitcases with my Chinese coach to retrieve at a later date. We thought maybe my mother would go back and once more clear up the mess I left, or maybe it was more of a sentimental feeling that we wanted to believe we would be coming back and wished to leave a part of us there. To this day we have not retrieved our belongings. I actually have no idea where they went! That is the beauty of it though. Maybe some Chinese people are relishing the clothes we left behind. Maybe some part of my mother and me is still looming somewhere over China. Our spirits live on.

I like to believe that I have left a little part of me everywhere I have been. It had not been taken from me nor had it emptied me out, but rather I willingly gave a part of me. It made me even more whole since at the same time I received so much from everywhere I had been, and everyone I had met. I want to be remembered and to leave my footprint. To me it is all an enrichment of life and an education of the spirit.

Surprisingly I somehow felt relieved and relaxed as soon as we touched down in Switzerland. It felt like this was my home after all. Please be aware here I am not talking about the Swiss skating world. Usually when I went to Switzerland I despised it since I was always there for only a few days for a competition and that was it. Here I am referring to the country itself away from skating. I had never experienced it before. Maybe, too, it was different this time because my father was living here. I felt I had my family again. It was after all my birthplace. It was more a feeling of a force beyond the earth’s realm and more spiritual and unconscious than something I saw. I was relieved to be home with my father again and to sleep again within my own furniture and memories that I had grown up with. It was magnificent.

It felt like I had come full circle and God had been waiting for me to come there. As all of this was giving me back my soul I also was utterly mentally and physically exhausted from life’s experiences so far. My mind and heart and soul were feeling like they were all going to explode.

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