First Comes Love by Katie Kacvinsky

Author:Katie Kacvinsky
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Romance, Chick-Lit, Young Adult, Contemporary
ISBN: 9780547599793
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Published: 2012-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

First Fight

Dylan

I blurt out the question before I lose my nerve.

“Have you gone through any counseling since Amanda died?” I ask. A few weighted seconds crawl by.

“Counseling?” Gray repeats, his voice hard. He’s already on the defensive. “Where is this coming from? I haven’t gone through counseling,” he insists, as if this would be weak. As if it would label him as something.

“Has your mom or dad?” I ask, and I try to keep my tone light, as if this is a casual conversation. He sees it as more of an interrogation.

“No,” he says flatly. “I don’t know. I doubt it.” He’s glaring at my profile, and I try to concentrate on the road, but I can still feel the heat from his eyes. “We don’t need to see a therapist,” he adds. “Not that my family’s psychological condition is any of your business.”

Period. End of the counseling discussion. But I won’t give up. I keep my voice calm and try to water down his anger. I tell him that talking to someone could help his family work through this, learn how to cope and make it easier for his parents to transition after he leaves town.

He takes such a sharp breath, I swear his chest is on fire. “Did you get that off a grieving pamphlet?”

“No,” I say quietly.

“What do you know about coping, Dylan?” he shoots back. “Who are you to tell me I need therapy?” he says, as if I’m the crazy one. “Are you saying I’m depressed?”

“No, I didn’t say that, and even if you were, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’ve been through a tragedy. All I’m saying is, it’s okay to ask people for help.”

“Well, I don’t need to pay a shrink just to hear someone tell me life’s going to be okay.”

I take a long, deep breath and tell him that’s the problem. Life isn’t okay, and denying it won’t help.

“Sometimes you need professionals to help you work through things,” I say.

Gray raises his hands. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this,” he says. He crosses his arms tightly over his chest to contain them.

“There are counselors who have worked with hundreds of people in your shoes,” I say. “They can give your family advice on how to deal with all this.”

He glares at me like my words are a slap across his face. “I don’t need any advice. I’m fine.”

“I’m worried about your parents,” I say.

“Why?” he asks.

“Doesn’t it feel good to finally talk about Amanda?”

He nods once.

“Don’t you think it would help your parents if they could talk about her?” I try to keep my voice smooth. I crossed a line by making his family’s personal business my own. But isn’t that what friendship is? Isn’t that what love is? It’s more than caring and laughing and inspiring. It’s about taking hurt and anger off people’s shoulders and helping to carry the weight. It’s more important to love people on their worst days than their best.

“Don’t concern yourself with my parents, Dylan.

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