Douglas Adams - John Lloyd by The Deeper Meaning of Liff (epub)

Author:The Deeper Meaning of Liff (epub)
Format: epub
Published: 2022-02-24T00:00:00+00:00

T

Tabley Superior (n.)

The look directed at you in a theatre bar during the interval by people who’ve already got their drinks.

Tampa (n.)

The sound of a rubber eraser coming to rest after dropping off a desk in a very quiet room.

Tananarive (vb.)

To announce your entrance by falling over the dustbin in the drive.

Tanvats (pl. n.)

Disturbing things that the previous owners of your house have left in the cellar.

Tarabulus (n.)

The geometrical figure which describes the Ban the Bomb sign or a car steering wheel.

Taroom (vb.)

To make loud noises during the night to let the burglars know you are in.

Teigngrace (n.)

The belief that a Devon cream tea is not going to make you feel sick after you’ve eaten it.

Tew (n.)

Tuft of hair that grows between a man’s eyebrows.

Tewel (n.)

The little brass latch which fastens the front wall of a doll’s house.

Throcking (ptcpl. vb.)

The action of continually pushing down the lever on a pop-up toaster in the hope that you will thereby get it to understand that you want it to toast something.

Throckmorton (n.)

The soul of a departed madman: one of those now known to inhabit the timing mechanisms of pop-up toasters.

Thrumster (n.)

The irritating man next to you in a concert who thinks he’s the conductor.

Thrupp (vb.)

To hold a ruler on one end of a desk and make the other end go bbddbbddbbrrbrrrddrr.

Thurnby (n.)

A rucked-up edge of carpet or linoleum which everyone says someone will trip over and break a leg unless it gets fixed. After a year or two someone trips over it and breaks a leg.

Tibshelf (n.)

Criss-cross wooden construction hung on a wall in a teenage girl’s bedroom which is covered with glass Bambis and poodles, matching pigs and porcelain ponies in various postures.

Tidpit (n.)

The corner of a toenail from which satisfying little black spots may be sprung.

Tillicoultry (n.)

The man-to-man chumminess adopted by an employer as a prelude to telling an employee that he’s going to have to let him go.

Timble (vb.)

(Of small nasty children) To fall over very gently, look around to see who’s about, and then yell blue murder.

Tincleton (n.)

A man who amuses himself in your lavatory by pulling the chain in mid-pee and then seeing if he can finish before the flush does.

Tingewick (n.)

The first, sleepy morning stirrings of the penis.

Tingrith (n.)

The feeling of silver paper against your fillings.

Tockholes (pl. n.)

The tiny meaningless perforations which infest brogues.

Todber (n.)

One whose idea of a good time is to stand behind his front hedge and give surly nods to people he doesn’t know.

Todding (ptcpl. vb.)

The business of talking amicably and aimlessly to the barman at the local.

Tolob (n.)

The crease or fold in an underblanket the removal of which involves getting out of bed and largely remaking it.

Tolstachaolais (phr.)

What the police in Leith require you to say in order to prove that you are not drunk.

Tomatin (n.)

The chemical from which tinned tomato soup is made.

Tonypandy (n.)

The voice used by presenters on children’s television programmes.

Toodyay (n.)

Indonesian expression meaning ‘some time next month’.

Tooting Bec (n.)

A car behind which one draws up at the traffic lights

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