Don't Even Think About It by Sarah Mlynowski

Author:Sarah Mlynowski [Mlynowski, Sarah]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 978-0-385-73738-8
Publisher: Random House Children's

CHAPTER TWENTY

The Truth Hurts

Cooper avoided Mackenzie all morning.

At lunch she cornered him by his locker. “Please talk to me.”

He shrugged. “What’s there to say?”

“I’m sorry. It was a totally horrible thing to do.”

No kidding, thought Jordana. She was filing her nails one locker over.

“Can we go somewhere private to talk?” Mackenzie asked. Please don’t shut me out.

We had decided not to have a meeting at lunch that day. Pi and a few other 10Bers had an American history test and they wanted to prep then.

Instead, we were all meeting after school at Sadie’s apartment on Duane Street.

He shook his head. “Sure, now you want to go somewhere private.”

“Let’s go to my place,” she offered.

I can’t be in your room. It would hurt too much.

His thought pierced her heart.

“Let’s go to the gazebo.”

The gazebo was in Washington Market Park, only a few blocks from school. They walked out together, him a few steps ahead, not looking back.

They were both quiet. All she kept thinking was I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. All he kept thinking was I can’t believe this is happening, over and over again.

When they got to the gazebo, they sat beside each other, not speaking.

Finally he turned to her. “Did you sleep with him?”

“No,” she said quickly. No! I didn’t!

“What did you do, then?”

“I …” She wanted to lie, but she couldn’t. He would know.

“So your first instinct is to lie to me? Great.” Does she always lie?

“No! I don’t! I just … I don’t want to hurt you.”

“But you did hook up with him,” he said. How could she do that?

“Yes.” I’m sorry.

“While we were together.” Why would she do that?

“Yes.” I’m sorry.

“And you didn’t tell me.” Liar.

“No.” She felt tears well up in her eyes. Was their relationship really going to end? Just like that?

“Why?”

She shook her head. Was he asking why she had hooked up with Bennett or why she hadn’t told him? She wasn’t sure she knew the answer to number one, but she definitely knew the answer to number two. “I knew you’d break up with me and I didn’t want that to happen.”

He sighed. “Too late now.” It’s so over. I can’t even look at you.

Pain exploded in her chest. “Please, Cooper. We don’t have to break up. It was months ago.” She put her hand on his arm. “Please. Don’t. We are so good together. I screwed up.”

We agree. She really did screw up. Big-time. Huge-time.

“I would change it if I could,” she babbled. “I would go back and change it.” She would change everything. She didn’t want to be the kind of girl who cheated on her boyfriend. She didn’t want to be a bitch. She wanted to be sweet. She wanted to be worthy. She couldn’t lose him. She just couldn’t. She loved him. She really did. “I love you.”

He shook his head. I still love you.

“You do! I know you do!”

“Stop it,” he said, and closed his eyes. “I don’t. I loved you.”

The past tense crushed her.

He opened his eyes and said, “Mackenzie, we’re done.

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